wow

[coffee]

I wish I could have found this place long time ago.
I feel like I truly belong here.

I can be truly myself in here. not like any other places in this world...
no one wants to hear when I tell them I want to die.

someone commited suicide today. and I was like
wow... I am so happy for her... I wish I could do that.

I know I can do it but I can't beucase I can't hurt my family or friends.
funny thing is that I can't end my life beucase I care about other ppl more than myself.

I wish I can be really selfish and just kill myself.

Especially this year, I've heard this qutestion a lot
" Do you have any plans?"
I didnt before but this question made me really think about it.

I know exactly what to do to suceed....

it's matter of time and matter of someone triggers me.
I guess I am such a chicken that waiting for someone to piss me off
so I can actually kill myself....

so my life is depends on other people.
I am worthless, meaningless, hopeless...

I am nothing...
I shouldn't even breath air becuase I am wasting other ppl's oxygen in this world. I blame my parents for having me.

They are fucking irresponsible...

 

[Rukia]

:hug:

 

[tramp_angel]

I feel the same about not hurting others..
and therefore I must continue to be hurt

I guess that's the lesser of two evils..
there's just no way out of all this