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wow

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by coffee, Nov 20, 2009.

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  1. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    I wish I could have found this place long time ago.
    I feel like I truly belong here.

    I can be truly myself in here. not like any other places in this world...
    no one wants to hear when I tell them I want to die.

    someone commited suicide today. and I was like
    wow... I am so happy for her... I wish I could do that.

    I know I can do it but I can't beucase I can't hurt my family or friends.
    funny thing is that I can't end my life beucase I care about other ppl more than myself.

    I wish I can be really selfish and just kill myself.

    Especially this year, I've heard this qutestion a lot
    " Do you have any plans?"
    I didnt before but this question made me really think about it.

    I know exactly what to do to suceed....

    it's matter of time and matter of someone triggers me.
    I guess I am such a chicken that waiting for someone to piss me off
    so I can actually kill myself....

    so my life is depends on other people.
    I am worthless, meaningless, hopeless...

    I am nothing...
    I shouldn't even breath air becuase I am wasting other ppl's oxygen in this world. I blame my parents for having me.

    They are fucking irresponsible...
     
  2. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    :hug:
     
  3. tramp_angel

    tramp_angel New Member

    I feel the same about not hurting others..
    and therefore I must continue to be hurt

    I guess that's the lesser of two evils..
    there's just no way out of all this
     
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