writting out your story

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by lav11, Dec 18, 2012.

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  1. lav11

    lav11 Well-Known Member

    *possible trigger*

    my counsellor gave me a writting book today to start writting my story down.. and basiclly she said just write it however i want but im really confused just write once a week... i know theres an expectation how i write this but im just not sure what it is... im wandering if anyone here has done something similiar if they could please help me....

    * am i supposed to be vague in detail or am i supposed to go into great detail including the gross stuff and bad words... i know shes heard it all before but i dont want to sound bad by writting more detail then im supposed to..

    *am i supposed to start from the start to the most recent.. or just random things that pop into my head..

    * how much exactly am i supposed to write.. a page per assault as much as needed? one assualt a week? one assualt a day or however much i can manage.. (its happened numerous times a week for alot of years so a fair number of events...)

    * do i write about every time i remember it happened or just the times i consider it to be really bad or something stood out

    * how am i supposed to start it...


    sorry.. im just really lost with this, really worried about giving it to her incase she has to report it but i want to get it out and im just simply stuck how to do it.. ive written a bit here in the my story section, but i dont know if thats any good to use... i dont want to look stupid, i want to tell the whole truth about everything so i can heal but i dont want my counsellor to think im disguisting

    thanks.
     
  2. Jaimeisbroken

    Jaimeisbroken Well-Known Member

    Dear Lav,
    I just lay down to go to sleep. When I get home from school I will explain what I did when I was given this assignment.
     
  3. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    i really don't think your counsellor could think that you're disgusting. i'm sure they're used to dealing with 'messed up people', that's their job. i personally think it might be a good idea to write as much as you're comfortable with at the moment, and maybe in time dig deeper so to say. but i myself haven't been in similar situations so sadly i can't be of much help. i hope it'll be helpful to you and aid you in getting over this. stay strong and safe^^
     
  4. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Lav

    You do what is comfortable for you. There is no right or wrong way to do this. And please don't worry about being thought of as disgusting. I would suggest that you be in a good place, however, before writing at anytime. For me, doing something similar has brought about a lot of anxiety and other thoughts. Perhaps discuss the questions you asked here with your counsellor the next time you meet with her. You can do this, don't rush yourself. :hug:
     
  5. Jaimeisbroken

    Jaimeisbroken Well-Known Member

    Sorry it took so long to get back to this.
    I was given a similar assignment last year right after my assault. I started counseling nearly immediately. I asked my therapist the same questions you have asked here and she replied, "When do you think you should write in it? How much detail to you feel would help get it off your chest? How long do you think it should be?"

    My therapist wasn't only giving me an assignment to write about my actual assault but to self evaluate my own feelings as I do so so that I understand what my comfort levels are and what the best ways I think would e for me. This also gave her some of the knowledge of how she should proceed with me because she too needed to evaluate me.

    When I started writing, sometimes I would write a single word, a line, a paragraph or page after painful page. Sometimes I would write it in a vague manner and other times in great detail. Sometimes I would write more than once a day and other times I would go several days, a week or even months between writing.

    Unless your T gives you specific directions I would assume you write as often or as little as you feel you need to, and in as much detail or length as you need to.

    When I started mine I explained what happened to me that day; what led to the assault. Not until the very end did I get to the assault and I just hinted about what was going to happen to me. Later on I was able to let more detail out, but the level of detail changed according to how I personally felt at the moment I was writing.

    There isn't an exact way to do this. Telling the story of what happened to you can be very hard and emotionally draining, but it can be cleansing. If you are anything like me you will ball your eyes out while writing and reading what you have written. You will also likely destroy or delete what you have written more than a few times and on occasion get discouraged at yourself, but that is expected. Just write at your own pace, detail and frequency.

    Your counselor will NOT think you are weird or disgusting, trust me.
     
  6. Lauru

    Lauru Well-Known Member

    Hun, just do whatever is most helpful for you. This writing is for you, not your therapist.
     
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