wrong place, but please help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 113, Jun 28, 2014.

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  1. 113

    113 Member

    I have decided to live. At least for right now. The problem is this makes me very scared, and by not caring for so long I cant get rid of the thought ive messed myself up beyond repair physically. Which leads me to think I dont have a choice anymore. I hope im being a hypochondriac, and I know people on here arent all health professionals and probably this is not the right place at all to list my fears, but I dont want to get laughed out at the doctors office. I have been lacking B12, and it says it can lead to permanent neurological damage if untreated for too long. I have no idea how long its been lacking before I started supplementation. Ive done the injections, homocysteine was still elevated so I now do pills. I still feel like there is kind of a cloud over my head, which I dont know if is caused by that, or by depression or lack of physical activity or sleep or if its simply imagination. There is also a slight tremble/unsteadyness of my hands, generally not noticable to others and im unsure if im just born with it, because its been that way for very long. Also I get some muscle twitches, or involuntary muscle contractions sometimes and after reading a bit online I wonder if ive damaged myself with alcohol, or the terrible eating habits ive had. Ive never been an alcoholic, but I have been drinking quite heavy "socially" for periods of time, however not for a long time. I also feel like one eye feels different than the other one. I noticed maybe a month ago, and then today I cant stop focusing on it. My head also feels a bit heavy on the same side. There is no visible abnormality, and my vision is normal really, so I ruled cancer out, but again I worry ive damaged something permanently or that im building up to a stroke or something, which I think sounds quite ridiculous myself, but im still scared of it. I also worry ive damaged my brain, and that im less smart now and that my memory no longer works as it should. Im 24 years old if that is of any importance. I almost find it funny how ive been hoping to die in my sleep, or from any natural cause to hurt my family less, into being so scared all of a sudden. Are these things I should see a doctor about? Is it in any way anything normal about these feelings?
  2. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Hello I don't think it's silly or the doctors will laugh at you they are there above all to reassure.

    I do believe it is the depression, I started running two years ago and found it helped my mood and well physical strength I had more energy and mentally was stronger, anxiety and depression can have a lot of physical symptoms with it sometimes they are in our head. A healthy lifestyle and eating etc can help that like I said, but your doctor can help with the rest even if it is to reassure you.

    Take care

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