I have decided to live. At least for right now. The problem is this makes me very scared, and by not caring for so long I cant get rid of the thought ive messed myself up beyond repair physically. Which leads me to think I dont have a choice anymore. I hope im being a hypochondriac, and I know people on here arent all health professionals and probably this is not the right place at all to list my fears, but I dont want to get laughed out at the doctors office. I have been lacking B12, and it says it can lead to permanent neurological damage if untreated for too long. I have no idea how long its been lacking before I started supplementation. Ive done the injections, homocysteine was still elevated so I now do pills. I still feel like there is kind of a cloud over my head, which I dont know if is caused by that, or by depression or lack of physical activity or sleep or if its simply imagination. There is also a slight tremble/unsteadyness of my hands, generally not noticable to others and im unsure if im just born with it, because its been that way for very long. Also I get some muscle twitches, or involuntary muscle contractions sometimes and after reading a bit online I wonder if ive damaged myself with alcohol, or the terrible eating habits ive had. Ive never been an alcoholic, but I have been drinking quite heavy "socially" for periods of time, however not for a long time. I also feel like one eye feels different than the other one. I noticed maybe a month ago, and then today I cant stop focusing on it. My head also feels a bit heavy on the same side. There is no visible abnormality, and my vision is normal really, so I ruled cancer out, but again I worry ive damaged something permanently or that im building up to a stroke or something, which I think sounds quite ridiculous myself, but im still scared of it. I also worry ive damaged my brain, and that im less smart now and that my memory no longer works as it should. Im 24 years old if that is of any importance. I almost find it funny how ive been hoping to die in my sleep, or from any natural cause to hurt my family less, into being so scared all of a sudden. Are these things I should see a doctor about? Is it in any way anything normal about these feelings?