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wtf college?!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by _nu, Oct 21, 2006.

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  1. _nu

    _nu Well-Known Member

    college. wonderful. i get to learn for four more years so that i can be old and know stuff when i get out. i'm being sarcastic.

    in reality, i'm sick of college and i havent even been here for 2 months. i want to give up, but my parents wont let me, and i was thinking that i might go insane very soon. an escape would be suicide. imagine, all my worries, expectations, etc.. they'd all be over. the only reason i havent yet is because i sorta like this sick world when i'm not doing what i'm "supposed" to be doing. i want to be a rockstar or a hunter-gatherer. not a computer major. but that's not going to work. i cant really imagine myself with any future except death. and because i dont really want to ever know that future...

    also, i am a loser. i feel like i'm losing all of my friends, and am not making any new ones because i have kind of a social anxiety. infact, i have a permanent anxiety that might require medication, but i'm lucky that i also have ADD b/c it's easy for me to get off task and do things that i actually enjoy. but in the "long run" (which i wish there wasnt) that isn't good. even when i'm happy i still kind of hope that some terrible accident will happen resulting in my death. basically i feel like my brain is just one big mess and i need to clean it up by splattering it all over the wall?
  2. I hated college. Hated, hated, hated it. Hated the fact I lived with 12 other males in the first year and they all practically IGNORED me the whole time I was there.
    Hated the sneering lecturers who looked down on anyone who didnt know a computer inside out (this was a fucking PSYCHOLOGY course). Hated the fact that I was the only person there that had no social life or sex life. Hated the fact that I didnt turn up for lectures and seminars for SIX MONTHS and noone even NOTICED.
    Suffice to say, I count it amongst the worst time in my life and stayed less than a year before leaving (I was suicidal by the end and even took an overdose).

    To be fair, I`d probably deal with the whole situation NOW a lot better than I did back then (I have the benefit of 10 years extra experience) but ultimately, it was an overrated waste of time.
  3. lebigmac

    lebigmac Well-Known Member

    I think most people in university feel that way, but it’s no reason to just quit. Not everyone has the advantage of being able to go to college, so use it. Remember, what you learn in school is almost irrelevant to the bigger picture. What’s important is that you get a marketable degree that will open doors for you in four years. By then, you'll most likely find a career that will allow you to sit at a desk no more than 40 hours a week doing minimal work while still getting paid more than the person who has to slave away in a warehouse all day. Think of it this way, four years of hard work versus a life of hell, which manual labour is. It’s an easy choice.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 22, 2006
  4. am I alive

    am I alive Well-Known Member

    4 years!, this is my 7th yaear and stil can't see the end (just because of depression). I'm 25 now, when i graduate i'll be 27, i guess. Some people at that age have family,house,car...i will be just at the begininig of it. By the way i live in poor country,so my degree doesn't guarantee i'll find job i deserve, anyway i can count not more than 500 euro per month.
  5. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    I'm also the biggest loser in college, no social life, no friends, nothing. I commute to my university and just go to class and study.
    I'm happy being by myself and playing videogames and crap, I'm so abnormal. :sad:

    But I really don't think I will quit and will try to get that degree, even if all I do there is study and not make friends or participate in any extra curricular activities or whatever. I'm the biggest loser alive.

    Its funny how so many say college is the best time of your life but also so many suicides are from college students as well.
  6. _nu

    _nu Well-Known Member

    i plan on getting a computer job, and not one where i need anything more than certain certifications. i knew a guys who didnt go to college and made like a grand a week and then he got some kind of offer to work for another company and i'm sure he makes more now b/c he moved away. this makes me feel like college is just a waste of time. i'm trying to have fun with it, by taking a major that is completely different than my career goals (philosophy), but still. there's a lot of stuff pushing me against this "wall" (college).. parents, social norms, a lot of money, etc. i wish i could just take courses and learn, not worry about grades. that would be ideal.
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