For a long while now, I have been going through feeling the worst anger and bitterness at the whole world and everyone in it, to feeling just dead inside and wanting to just put an end to this non stop feeling of misery.
I have cancer, and I've been battling it for a few years now, but its spreading and things just seem bleak. My family try their best to keep me positive, but I'm not, and have to pretend I am for their benefit.
My bf has been great, and has always gone out of his way to try and cheer me up when I'm down, and take my mind off things....but we've not been getting on lately. I lash out at him, and hes bearing the full brunt of it. I don't mean to, but now I feel hes had enough. He asks every day how I'm feeling, but thats pretty much the extent of his interest. If I simply say ''ok'' he leaves it at that. I told him last week about the latest results of my cancer (which werent too good) and his only response was ''ok''.
I feel like I've worn him down, and its all just 'run of the mill' and boring to him now.
I feel so desperately alone and sad. I don't want to go on feeling like this. I'm turning the few people I love dearly against me, and the fact I just can't seem to snap out of this is becoming a burden on them.
I don't want to do anything and leave anyone upset or angry at me, but I don't want to go on feeling this way. I just wish there was someone who totally ''gets'' me, knows where I'm coming from
I have cancer, and I've been battling it for a few years now, but its spreading and things just seem bleak. My family try their best to keep me positive, but I'm not, and have to pretend I am for their benefit.
My bf has been great, and has always gone out of his way to try and cheer me up when I'm down, and take my mind off things....but we've not been getting on lately. I lash out at him, and hes bearing the full brunt of it. I don't mean to, but now I feel hes had enough. He asks every day how I'm feeling, but thats pretty much the extent of his interest. If I simply say ''ok'' he leaves it at that. I told him last week about the latest results of my cancer (which werent too good) and his only response was ''ok''.
I feel like I've worn him down, and its all just 'run of the mill' and boring to him now.
I feel so desperately alone and sad. I don't want to go on feeling like this. I'm turning the few people I love dearly against me, and the fact I just can't seem to snap out of this is becoming a burden on them.
I don't want to do anything and leave anyone upset or angry at me, but I don't want to go on feeling this way. I just wish there was someone who totally ''gets'' me, knows where I'm coming from
