Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by diseased, May 12, 2008.

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  1. diseased

    diseased Active Member

    I feel awful. I'm not sure how to explain this...

    I was hanging out w/ some guy a couple nights ago. I don't really know him but I'd seen him around a lot. We had a few beers at his house and after I whupped his ass at guitar hero we went out and had some tequilla shots.

    Needless to say we were both too drunk to go anywhere after that. I asked him to take me home but it was storming really bad and he shouldn't have been driving any way.

    So he said I could stay at his house. I had told him I didn't want to have sex because we'd just met but it would be nice to just hold someone and sleep for once instead of sleeping alone. We'd been kissing and making out so I knew he was worked up and it wouldn't be easy for him to turn it off. But he assured me that he wouldn't touch me so I crawled into his bed w/ my clothes on. He kept telling me to take my pants off but I ignored him. I was passing out. I was schwasted and I just wanted to sleep.

    So I was dozing off w/ my back to him and he just pulled my pants off and started touching me. Then before I know it he's fucking me.

    I didn't say no when he started doing it. I had said that I really didn't want to earlier but once it was happening it was like there was nothing I could do anymore. I figured that I might as well try yo enjoy it. I hadn't had sex in over 6 months and the drunken animal part of me was dying for some. We fucked for most of the night. He did basically all of the work because I was half asleep. He said "I love you." and also told me "I'm sorry." over and over. He wanted me to say dirty things to him.

    He dropped me off the next morning. No hugs, no kisses, not even a fake-ass "I'll call you." Just dropping the trash off at the curb. I'm not going to say that he raped me because that is a serious thing to say. In his mind he thought that I wanted it. He was too drunk to control himself and I was too drunk to defend myself. At worst I'd say that he took advantage of me but I was dumb for trusting him and getting so drunk in the first place. I mean, he bought the shots but he didn't exactly pour them down my throat.

    I guess I'm just going to try and forget that it happened. Just wanted to write this down so maybe someone can learn from my mistakes and not find themselves in the same situation. It takes more showers than you think to wash a thing like this off.
  2. Sentient-Blizzard

    Sentient-Blizzard Well-Known Member

    indeed this is not exactly what I would call a rape both of you were intoxicated. it's going to be hard to prove anything in court since you din't tell him to stop while he was actully doing it. I still think he abused you though
  3. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member


    I dis-agree I think it does contitute as rape. YOu told him once that you did not want to have sex with him and once is enough it does not matter whether you got into the same bed as you he should not have touched you or had sex with you. There is a law that means that if a girl had sex when drunk and yet did not want it, said no previously but not necessarily while it happened (if you think about it he did not really give you a chance to say no before you had sex) then it constitutes as rape wether the guy was drunk or not. I remember this law because I remember thinking that why is it that all guys get the blame and that any women could just say that they were raped on a drunken night out. This was only fleeting but this part of the rape law still stands. It makes us women who are raped in this way feel even more humiliated and un able to speak up.

    I would re think about that night but from what I read that was and is the actions and thought of a women taking part in un wanted sex.

    Take care

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