I feel awful. I'm not sure how to explain this... I was hanging out w/ some guy a couple nights ago. I don't really know him but I'd seen him around a lot. We had a few beers at his house and after I whupped his ass at guitar hero we went out and had some tequilla shots. Needless to say we were both too drunk to go anywhere after that. I asked him to take me home but it was storming really bad and he shouldn't have been driving any way. So he said I could stay at his house. I had told him I didn't want to have sex because we'd just met but it would be nice to just hold someone and sleep for once instead of sleeping alone. We'd been kissing and making out so I knew he was worked up and it wouldn't be easy for him to turn it off. But he assured me that he wouldn't touch me so I crawled into his bed w/ my clothes on. He kept telling me to take my pants off but I ignored him. I was passing out. I was schwasted and I just wanted to sleep. So I was dozing off w/ my back to him and he just pulled my pants off and started touching me. Then before I know it he's fucking me. I didn't say no when he started doing it. I had said that I really didn't want to earlier but once it was happening it was like there was nothing I could do anymore. I figured that I might as well try yo enjoy it. I hadn't had sex in over 6 months and the drunken animal part of me was dying for some. We fucked for most of the night. He did basically all of the work because I was half asleep. He said "I love you." and also told me "I'm sorry." over and over. He wanted me to say dirty things to him. He dropped me off the next morning. No hugs, no kisses, not even a fake-ass "I'll call you." Just dropping the trash off at the curb. I'm not going to say that he raped me because that is a serious thing to say. In his mind he thought that I wanted it. He was too drunk to control himself and I was too drunk to defend myself. At worst I'd say that he took advantage of me but I was dumb for trusting him and getting so drunk in the first place. I mean, he bought the shots but he didn't exactly pour them down my throat. I guess I'm just going to try and forget that it happened. Just wanted to write this down so maybe someone can learn from my mistakes and not find themselves in the same situation. It takes more showers than you think to wash a thing like this off.