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Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by HakunaMatata, Jan 8, 2012.

  1. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Well-Known Member

    I knew something was wrong when i heard my step-dad shout "shit" really loud, and then when he said to my younger brother, "my older sister is crying and screaming". I was thinking her husband had gone to hospital as he's rather clumsy but i knew he didn't have work today.
    Just now i creeped downstairs to ask my younger brother what's been going on, my mum and step-dad went to drop off my younger sister round to my eldest sister.
    Turns out my sisters husbands dad hang himself in his garage. My sister only had her baby the other day, and even i've been trying to pull myself together...
    My younger brother didn't want to tell me as he was told not to at the moment.
    I seriously am shaking a bit. Almost crying. My mind feels like its going to explode.
  2. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I am so sorry. Please try and be good to yourself over the coming days.
  3. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Well-Known Member

    I wish i could say i've holded strong but i havent. Thanks though.
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Wow I am so sorry! I can't imagine. :hug: HakunaMatata
  5. LittleOne

    LittleOne Member

    At first I took things less than a day at a time. A whole day felt overwhelming. Take things one hour at a time if that helps. Establishing a routine helped me as well. From my experience, I want to tell you two things I learned: (1) as my therapist said to me "secrets. hurt." My late boyfriend's mother wanted to conceal how he died and it has been horrible. I know you said your brother wasn't supposed to tell, but I encourage your family to be honest. It changes how people try to comfort you, and there are people you may not expect who can benefit from the truth. Be honest. (2) My sister is "bad" with death. She did not come to my boyfriend's funeral. She doesn't ever talk about him. Please be there for your sister. If she wants to talk about it or not, let her know it's her choice, not yours. It would mean the world to me if my sister ever looked me in the eyes and said, "How ARE you?" Don't give up on her if she is closed at first. Don't give up on her if she tries to withdraw. Be there when she wants it, and maybe also when she doesn't. Just be there. I don't have all the answers... heck I don't have any. But I know these two things for sure. Take care. Make sure you eat, and try to sleep.