wtk doctor

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tonylonely19, Nov 6, 2012.

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  1. tonylonely19

    tonylonely19 Member

    i am having a very bad time of it at the moment. every day, all day i wish a comet would hit me. i cant and wont kill myself but i want to die. or have everything in my head erased. i rang the doctors today and i told them i need help now. i have seen them before. i told receptionist i wanted to die. she told me there was no more bookings for the day and to call in the morning to see if any cancellations were in. i hung up. they have my number and 9 hrs later i have still not had a call from them. my doctor obviously doesnt care. and why should i. im here so a small part of me does care. but i hate me.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It is difficult when we feel the people that are supposed to be helping us - the actual professionals - are not. I would recommend instead of waiting for a phone call when it is possible she simply cannot book any more appointments to either call a crisis line or go to the emergency department of your hospital - it is sometimes needed to work within the system - if they cannot book an appointment go to a place where there is no appointment needed and let them sort it for you while they help you stay safe.


    Take Care and Be Safe

    Ben
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Please try again, or get a referral for someone else...only you can advocate for yourself...make sure they know how serious the situation is and if they do not respond in a timely basis, please go to the ER...there they have to help you
     
  4. tonylonely19

    tonylonely19 Member

    the doctor there knows all about me. i have seen him for over last few years. i am embarrased about the way i am and it is too difficult to tell anyone. my family suck and i cant tell them anything. hard nosed prodistant scottish. i used to be so confident and scared of nothing. now i can hardly look ppl in the eye when talikng. i wish i had the courage. i am very much over the mess i have made of my life. i am overtaken by guilt every day.
     
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    It sounds rough :hug:. The receptionist might not have had appointments yesterday, but she did say to call this a.m. in case someone has cancelled...You could call to see about that, and if nothing is available, try the crisis line and/or ER route, as suggested above. I understand that you'd like to see the person who already knows you, but I'm crisis workers tend to be very good listeners who are easy to talk to.
     
  6. tonylonely19

    tonylonely19 Member

    i did see a crisis worker one time last year. when i told her what i was doing. her response was"just dont do it". WOW. if it was just that easy. i said nothing to her. picked up my stuff and left there and then. i was so angry. "just dont do it" i wish.
     
  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Oh, dear...she was obviously not a good one. I'm so sorry you had that experience! I hope you don't let one bad worker jade you against them all.

    If you do call or see them, ask them to give you specific strategies or steps (beyond "don't do it") that will help you to regain your balance in the moment until you can get to see your regular person.

    I'm so glad you are here posting. Keep doing that if you can. Just venting and knowing that others are here and looking for your replies and wanting to know you are doing all right might help. Be safe. :hug:
     
  8. tonylonely19

    tonylonely19 Member

    i dont know if being here is a good thing. i have been reading some of the post and i feel even worse. its like the whole site has a hopeless feeling to it. im not saying it in a bad way or putting the site down. im sure it helps lots of ppl. but for me i feel i want it to end now. i have not stopped crying since i logged on.
    im a big tough concretor. working in construction. noone at work has any idea of the torment i carry.
     
  9. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Having to put up a front or wear a mask in front of others takes a lot of energy. Could you tell us a little about what's happening/has happened that is contributing to how you feel? Around if you want to share.
     
  10. tonylonely19

    tonylonely19 Member

    im sorry i came here. good bye all. i will wake up tomorrow. like i said. im too scared.
     
  11. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Please don't be sorry you came here...I'm glad you reached out. The truth is, anyone of us can reach a point where we're so sad or burdened with worries that we feel we don't want more of it. It doesn't mean we have to act on those feelings. And if we begin to feel overwhelmed, it's good to ask for support. I hope you do wake up tomorrow. And if you want to post, we'll be here. :smile:
     
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