wuts the point?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by polarisdrivr, Dec 5, 2007.

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  1. polarisdrivr

    polarisdrivr Member

    seriously i can't even make it through 20 years of my life and every day ive been through has killed a bit of me more and more inside...

    i live with an alcoholic father who physically abuses me when hes drunk and verbally abuses me when he sober...evry day we fight...and to make things worse my own mother provokes my father to yell at me more and more because nothing i do is right to her no matter how hard i try.

    i have no friends in school....even the nerds including the nerdiest kid in my school make fun of me....i used to b smart and get good grades but again even that wasnt good enough for my parents so i quit caring...and like any kid i turned to drugs and keep taking more and more hoping to OD someday and just end things

    unfortunately that never happened and today i finally snapped and told myself that im not dealing with this anymore because if i dont die then i may not b able to control myself one day if my father tries to hurt me again.

    and i hoped typing all this down would make me feel better gettin it off my system but sadly it makes me want to go even more
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    It is so sad. Sad what your parents are doing to you. Sad what they aren't doing for you. Sad that you are suffering at the hands of the people that should be there for you the most. Sad that you had to turn to drugs. Sad that you want to end it. But I really feel your sadness. And I hope that your sharing it here can help you feel a little better about yourself. Be happy you have found a place where ppl are ready to try and help rather than hurt you. Be happy that you are no longer alone. Be happy that at least one other person out there cares about you. Me. Keep posting and sharing and letting us help.
     
  3. polarisdrivr

    polarisdrivr Member

    thanks and for now i think im a little better because all last night the only one person i thought or knew cared talked to me on the phone and she wouldnt get off until she knew i wasnt going to do it....but no evrythings gonna get rid of these feelings but for now im ok and gonna try and deal with my pain if i can only make it through 2 more years here i can graduate high school and get out...
     
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Truly glad to hear it. Sounds like you have a special friend that really does care about you. I'm happy for you. Now please hold on to the good place you're at right now and use it to keep finding reasons to want to hold on. It's hard but you have your friend and now you're stuck with me too lol. PM anytime you need a little help or just someone to dump on.
     
  5. polarisdrivr

    polarisdrivr Member

    wow...thanx i cant believe a complete stranger can b this nice to someone they dont kno
     
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