Hi all. This is my first post, and I thought I'd start by sharing my own "survival" story. (I never intended to survive...) Anyhow it’s long, so feel free to move on if you don’t feel like reading. After several months of self-inflicted wounds, excessive and illicit drug and alcohol addiction, arrests followed by 2 felony convictions, and every other thing imaginable to hurt myself and end my pointless life, I finally turned to <methods> in July of 1995. The plan was simple: <methods> Easy. Painless. Enough to do the trick. Ten hours later, I was in a coma. I spent 4 days in a coma; it was unclear whether I was going to survive. I awoke in a hospital bed, in restraints. "Am I dead, is this hell?" - I would ask myself for two more days while I slowly came out of the sick and intense cloud of a prescription overdose, and anyone who has been through a prescription overdose knows exactly what I mean... From there, I was sent to a wonderfully despicable state hospital in Tinley Park, IL. I had never been so angry in my entire life. This wasn’t a f*cking cry for help - I was DONE, I wanted to be DONE, and I pursued suicide in the most assured way I could think of. Had I owned a gun that day, I wouldn’t be writing this today... I cannot describe how incredibly pissed off I was, and I know many of you understand that sick f*cking anger that comes with waking up in a daze realizing you survived suicide. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK. I am now 33 years old. I would be remiss if I didnt state that 6 out of 7 days of the week, I am now glad I survived. But that ONE day of the week still comes, where I contemplate and plan all over again. I have journals FILLED with this sh*t. Plan after plan. The seed is still there, and it will always be there, and I am afraid one day, One Day, soon, I will water the seed and successfully kill myself. If you tried to kill yourself and it didn’t work, I get it. It actually gets better over time (like, say, a decade??) But for most of us, the desire will Always be there, sitting dormant, like a seed waiting to be sown. Peace. And Good Luck.