Im just seriously fucked, I cant believe it. I cant comprehend how much I change in just 2 years because one fucking excuse for a person.How pathetically attached I still am. I've been with the same shit guy for 2 years, he wasnt the best but i love him with all my stupid heart and as he says "obsessed" . I guess I kinda was and still am, all I thought about was my future with him, nothing else ever. At first it was awsome, well not really. I pretty much stole him from my best fucking friend so that made me feel like shit, until it turned out he was pretty emotionally abusive. So much that I actually started hating my self, he lied and said he cut him self, and said it was my fault.I felt bad and decided to feel the same pain he did, and i liked it. And I havn't been able to stop. So fucking pathetic that I turned down so many other people for him. So many real chances to be happy. I'm the "biggest" problem in his life, so I decided to leave him. I still love him, but all I did was make him sad, but he fucked me up more than he'll ever know. I cant even believe its me. I cut my self, and I hate my self for it,and i cant stop, i tried so many times, stop for a month, do it again. I want to tell my friends, but they would hate me, distance them selfs from me. I need someone to talk to, who knows me. But my best friend would maybe even hate me. I've lied about it for years, hidden it, and I want to tell someone. But I cant. Its so strange how fucked it all seems, how pathetically emo I seem xD As I read this I cant even recognize the sick whiney fuck who wrote it.