My life is a downward spiral. A spiral into a black abyss. Void of light. Full of nothingness. Everyone resents me. Parents wish I was never born. Abused as a child by mother's ex. Abused now by her current. Father calls me names. Tells me I am a bad mother. This downward spiral I call life. Deprived of everything including love. Maybe everyone would be better off without me. Including my world, my son. The pain of asphyxiation would be better than this. My son wouldnt have to know a failure mother, Nor a self-harmer at that. To show him what I do is wrong. Cant really pick him up due to the cuts. Hurts me even more because all he wants is mommy.