I have an appointment with an optometrist on friday to find out why im seeing lights, flashes and things but for a reason I can't figure out, I am looking forward to the bad news. If the doctor just says 'oh, its nothing. It will go away soon enough' I will feel disappointed. Why? Even I can see this is not logical. Do I want to be blind? It would pretty much elliminate anything from my life that I currently enjoy. It would place mine and my gf's relationship under a huge amount of strain and I would find it extremely hard to do the most basic tasks. Yet, I look forward to this. Is it the challenge? I don't know. Maybe I just enjoy being self-destructive. I don't understand the way I think at all sometimes.