Yay, I'm going out with an obsessive mentalist again

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Nihilist87, Nov 22, 2008.

  1. Nihilist87

    Nihilist87 Member


    Okay, personally I'm not interested in a serious relationship or anything right now, so I've been seeing this girl on a purely no-strings basis. We both talked and knew this was all it was from the start. However, much like the last girl, she's started to get a little... obsessive.

    I haven't been seeing her much lately, not for any particular reason, and she's started texting me all the time, writing emails, and sending IMs when I'm not even online, just to say 'goodnight' and stuff. Also she turns up places where she knows I'm going to be, without telling me before. I wouldn't expect that shit even if I was in a serious relationship. I don't reply to any of her stuff and the more she does it the less I go and see her. We agreed from the start that nothing was going to happen between us and I think I've made it even clearer by ignoring all her messages and stuff. It's got to the stage now where she's really freaking me out... The best thing to do is finish it, but how can I do it without making her stalk me for the rest of my life? :S

    I really don't get why this has happened. We barely even know each other and tbh I've treated her like crap so I don't know why she's so obsessed. This happened to me before but not nearly as bad. I'm just not sure how easy it's gonna be to break up with this one...

    Any advice? :unsure:
  2. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    So you're not actually seeing her, right? Just friends?
  3. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    You need to tell exactly how you are feeling. If the whole thing is not what you want then finish it and make a clean break. Just ignoring her may make her think you are just playing hard to get.
  4. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Looks like your not even in a relationship with each other, just tell her to buzz off, woman can take the truth.
  5. Nihilist87

    Nihilist87 Member

    Thanks for your advice guys (and those who helped in chat). Hmm well yeah, I guess I do have to tell her what's going on, I just hope she takes it okay. I'm seeing her tomorrow so I'll post an update tomorrow night. Wish me luck :S
  6. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Good luck.:smile:
  7. Nihilist87

    Nihilist87 Member

    Thanks, and kudos for having Nick Drake in your sig! :biggrin:
  8. One Dagger

    One Dagger Member

    Just be striaght with her.
    You both agreed that you wernt going to be in a realtionship at the beginning, shes pushing it a bit far and you think its best if you stop seeing her
  9. d-pressed

    d-pressed Well-Known Member

    Hi there,

    It's all very well breaking up with her, but you mention you've gone out with this 'type' before. Humans are creatures of habit, and follow patterns. You mention that you 'treated her like crap.' Are you, perhaps on a subconscious level, seeking people who are in a vulnerable state or even mentally ill, who would 'obsess' after you in this way? Can you think of a time when you were perhaps rejected for some reason or another by someone you cared about? Or a time when you had an overwhelming feeling of needing to control events around you?

    I may be over-simplifying things here, but it's something no one has mentioned on this thread yet.