I really really don't know where I begin. Maybe its the fact that during these nights, I feel terrible about the thoughts in my head, and in the morning, it seems better until I talk to someone, or even do anything. The best part is just staying in bed. Maybe its the fact that I can't get over my family. A family that lied to me, betrayed me, treated me like crap, and beat me. Lets add ignorance and abandonment in there. None of its justified, yet it all is at the same time. Fucking family. I hate them and love them at the same time. Two entirely opposite feelings, and I'm stuck in the middle, pained by it all. Then there is the fact that I still have a girlfriend, still have friends. It isn't that same anymore, my girlfriend and I always have at least either a fight, or I break down in front of her, ever since I joined here. Joining SF helped a lot, and i greatly value the people here, its just...people said it was going to be hard, that there's a process. Right now, I just feel like giving up. I've been through hell the past few weeks. I've opened up a can of worms best left forgotten, and now I have to live now. Live for what now? Sometimes I feel like I should just swerve that car into that building, or actually grab for a knife. People are going to ask whats wrong, say that they are here, want me to talk. Right now, I just dont care. Maybe thats it, that I dont care about alot of things right now. I just know I'm slipping, and I'm falling back to where i started. So yeah, I guess this is a crisis. thoughts?