yeah...a crisis...life!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by confuzzle, Jul 24, 2009.

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  1. confuzzle

    confuzzle Well-Known Member

    I really really don't know where I begin.

    Maybe its the fact that during these nights, I feel terrible about the thoughts in my head, and in the morning, it seems better until I talk to someone, or even do anything. The best part is just staying in bed.

    Maybe its the fact that I can't get over my family. A family that lied to me, betrayed me, treated me like crap, and beat me. Lets add ignorance and abandonment in there.

    None of its justified, yet it all is at the same time. Fucking family. I hate them and love them at the same time. Two entirely opposite feelings, and I'm stuck in the middle, pained by it all.

    Then there is the fact that I still have a girlfriend, still have friends. It isn't that same anymore, my girlfriend and I always have at least either a fight, or I break down in front of her, ever since I joined here. Joining SF helped a lot, and i greatly value the people here, its just...people said it was going to be hard, that there's a process.

    Right now, I just feel like giving up. I've been through hell the past few weeks. I've opened up a can of worms best left forgotten, and now I have to live now. Live for what now? Sometimes I feel like I should just swerve that car into that building, or actually grab for a knife.

    People are going to ask whats wrong, say that they are here, want me to talk. Right now, I just dont care. Maybe thats it, that I dont care about alot of things right now.

    I just know I'm slipping, and I'm falling back to where i started. So yeah, I guess this is a crisis.

    thoughts?
     
  2. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hey confuzzle..
    my thoughts are - ur a stronger person than u think right now - 2 have survived and keep on surviving like ur doing.. u have been through so much.. i think saying this 'journy' that we r all on is hard - is an understatment.. its more than hard.. but we r still here and i think that says alot..
    i know u said u dont care about knowing ppl r here 4 u .. but im going 2 tell u anyway..
    we r here 4 U :)
    i really hope u start 2 feel even just a little bit better than u do right now..
    hang in there confuzzle :hug:
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey dam life is right and the journey will have its ups and downs Right now your in a down point your are facing some demons in your life. You called it opening a can of worms i called in opening Pandora Box I was so mad that all this shit was brought back to the surface too just couldn't and won't deal with it. It will diminish these feelings keep talking and talking about it here with your therapist with your family girlfriend but know you will figure it out.
    You are a SURVIVOR and a FIGHTER and you will get through it okay. The pain and confusion will somehow get better I am telling you this because ive been there and am there hang in there with us okay You can do it because we will be your strength when you don't have any. Take care and thanks for helping me see in the process as well.
     
  4. confuzzle

    confuzzle Well-Known Member

    thanks guys, it means alot that there were replies

    its morning now, so im in the sleepy waking up process when things are at thier best

    crisis averted, least for right now

    i just feel really silly, nights are hard, but in the morning they always seem like a bad dream
     
  5. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    no need 2 feel silly confuzzle.. glad ur feelin a bit better :hug:
     
  6. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hey you! Yeah the nights are rough. I think as the day slows down other thoughts and issues fall off or simply can not be dealt with the next day so we are left with just the thoughts in our own head. I sucks too because your left to sort them out when you are the most tired and often alone too.
    I myself try to recall the thoughts the next day. It is hard because during the day you think why the hell should I ruin a good day thinking about all the crappy stuff but I have learned that my nights will never get better unless I face these "demons" head on and work through them. But that is me.
    Glad you posted and glad ya joined SF.
    Talk to you later,
    B
     
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