JB, I hear you.I have to admit that my coping mechanisms doesn't work all the time.That is why I am here.I also take lexapro,wellbutrin & dextrdrine all combined,but still.Last year, I did better than this year.The suffering of my parents ,its hard to jump out from that hump.Plus my health is another issue for me.This deppression is my biggest battle,I needed to know why.I also always get pulled with ambiguity,I dreaded making decisions,esp. now my Dad is gone.Meaningless life is a very tough statement to argue. I have a therapist, I always end up listening to his stories. That is why I have no friends they are all self absorb in their own mundane pathetic life.This is better here in the net,all I need is release them it doesn't matter if no one reads them,the release of thoughts give me some relief.
Every Friday I am bombarded with phone calls all needing to be heard. I shut the fuckin phone, after a while they get the message.They are there when they need you & I am a person that when I talked to people I focus to them,no TV ,no interruptions,& I expect the same courtesy,but they are not interested in how I am so why should I gave a fuck about them.I live alone I have the ultimate freedom.
I rant enuff.