yeah i no :/

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by cownes, Jan 1, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    yeah i no its not a healthy coping mechanism, but right now, its the only one i no and its been there through the bad and the good times, so if i dont cut they i dont no what to do, and the thought of that without cutting i no i will spiral into greater depression and darker days, i have to do this, im sorry to all those i hurt by hurting myself, but i just dont have a chioce over it anymore :(
  2. Gem_Gem

    Gem_Gem Well-Known Member

    Hun I am here for you. I know you can get through this. :hug:

    It is such a slow process but it does get easier.
  3. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    i cant get through this hun :( i just cant give up, i last a few hours and that is it:(
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey just hang on okay keep posting you will be okay.:hugtackles:
  5. Gem_Gem

    Gem_Gem Well-Known Member

    I understand how hard it is. :( But you are so strong and have already survived so much, with counseling and talking about how you are feeling I truely feel you can beat this. :)

  6. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    We are here for you cownes you are not alone.

    Can you find something to distract you..

    I got a rush from cutting so have found that an adrenalin rush often served as a substitute...if you have family around you can always drop and do a bunch of pushups...just push yourself and the up side is you are too tired to act upon thoughts of self harm afterwards
    sorry if this sounds lame but in acute crisis any distraction is good just keep doing one after another..check out the list of distractions posted before..anything and keep posting we are here for you ..:arms: Bambi
  7. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    i can never remember wt im meant to do when i come out of counselling, when i get an urge to cut, it takes over, then after i cut, i remember what the counsellor sugggested, alsways bllody after i cut, never ever b4 grr
  8. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    like with the cartwheels the reson i cant do them is because i have one shitty wrist, so push ups out of the question, everyone is asleep in this house, and has been for hours, its so not fair that they get to sleep so normally :/ and here i am up all night :(
  9. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Well one thing is for certain it is not fair but life has given you a caring heart and what does that mean? It means that you are going to feel things deeply and hurt more than others most of the time but also it means that you have more compassion and a deeper sense of caring.
    Life never takes something from us without giving us something else in return and your heart is both a curse and a blessing...ride out the tough times with us and know that the very same heart that hurts has equal capacity to care as well and that is wonderful thing in deed...please do not harm yourself I care very much and am here for you
  10. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    sorry girls :(

  11. Gem_Gem

    Gem_Gem Well-Known Member

    I totally understand that.

    Maybe when you do remember you could write it down, then when you need to cut read it. Also writing a list of reasons on why not to cut and read that also. Can sometimes help.

  12. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    what are the reasons not to cut, i can only see the positives atm :unsure::blink:
  13. Gem_Gem

    Gem_Gem Well-Known Member

    Leaves scars.....If others knew how much you were hurting they would be upset....You have to keep hiding it.....You may cut to deep, then regret it.....In later life you may want to wear some clothes but can't because of scars .... they are the ones on my list. But you may think of others or maybe they may not be the same for you ...... As I know some people like the scars as it reminds them of the pain. But yea, there must be something negative you see about cutting. How about the fact you see it as a cycle ... You cut then you are angry at yourself for cutting. You could put that on your list remind yourself that once you have cut you are going to be angry at yourself. You also mentioned that it's not hard to hide yet .... but as you said ... yet ... eventually it may get harder.

    I'm here for you .... :hug:
  14. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    i cut in palces it wont affect wt clothes i wanna wear, also its in a discrete place so its not noticed by others so dont have to come up with big stories to try and cover it, good job really as im crap at lieing, i can only see positives recently, its the only thing tht keeps me grounded and in touch with reality if that makes any sense :dunno:
  15. Gem_Gem

    Gem_Gem Well-Known Member

    What about later in life when you get a partner? There is still the fact that you get angry at yourself after cutting, so on some level you know that it's not a good way to cope. Hang in there you can get through this, it's going to take a lot just keep talking and posting and try your hardest to distract yourself. :hug:
  16. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    thanks for trying to make me see sense, but i jsut cant stop, its a reduclos addiciton tht is impossible to kick :/ :hugtackles:
  17. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I kicked it and so can have to fight it and it aint easy but you have support and options..use them!
    Hugs as always cownes :arms:
  18. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    ive tried differenet methods and i jsut cant do it hun :(
  19. confuzzle

    confuzzle Well-Known Member

    what is it about hurting yourself thats keeping you grounded?
    Is it making you feel alive? Are you punishing yourself? Or taking other peoples pain upon yourself?

    No matter what your mind tells you otherwise, there are no positives to self harm.

    None whatsoever. There never was, never is, and never will be. It causes lasting, almost always irreversible damage and scarring, and provides a powerful, but fleeting high that you instantly regret a thousand times over afterwards.

    You want reasons not to cut? Here are 3, right off the top of my head.

    1. Your energy can be spent on better, more productive activities. You gain nothing productive from cutting.

    2. You gain an ease of mind. No fear in hiding, no shame from the scars or the wounds. No paranoia of wondering if they can see them, even when the cuts are millimeters in size, and covered already. Once you cut, you feel as transparent as glass.

    3. You don't feed the addiction. You break it, loosening its hold over you. Because by the time the addiction has set in, YOU aren't in control. Cutting is. Beat it back and take your life back.

    cmon cownes, don't do this to yourself. You only have one body, and life doesn't give us do-overs, no matter how badly we want them. Do anything, ANYTHING that delays cutting, no matter how stupid it may sound or how cheesy it is.

    Ride a bike, sing to yourself, count your toes, pet a cat, whistle, scream in a pillow, (better yet, have a pillow fight), cuddle with a stuffed animal, call a friend, vacumn, count sheep, go for a walk, clean up your room, rub your hands, braid your hair....the list goes on and on.

    Or you can do what I did, and develop a craving for Coca-Cola, the soda. (Highly not recommended). But hey, it beats cutting by a long shot.
  20. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    thanks for ur ideas :hug:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.