Yeah im losing it...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by justMe7, Apr 24, 2012.

  1. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    I need music .. drugs... stuff... reasons... reminders... I''m fucking sick of what i am and who i am what i can comprehend and do. Fucking live in the moment.. yeah Im horrile at doing and percieving and maintaining to create/make things how I want and need them to be.

    I have to fight... do you realize how fucking shit that feels when youre fighting just to avoid the reality of who you are because the full extent destroys/blankets the rest of me. Perhaps im full on dillusional.... oh ffs if i am.. ...

    FUCK i need to yell but ill just do it in my head..

    Makes me a puppet to every external source of energy. INFURIATES ME but fuck it :D... ...fucking hell i gotta e honest with myself again.. full on.. i really just hate everything aout me.

    Idk if i should be honest. I literally don't see a way I can restore my life the way I want. Not asking. It's not a question, even though the statment that makes this thread contradicts that. ... i just want... that heart. I want to grab you at the source and feel it ignite whatever the hell is laxed and weak in me. Oh but all that does is remind .. in a natural state, im fucked. Fuck it.. FUCK IT...
    I want more.. fuck this world.. I dontwork in you. FUck youimnotassmartasyouidontseeeverythingyouseeidontknowwhatyouknowicantplanicantseethemotionsuthe... damn u spacebar. whyd i break it.. like everything.. every...damn...thing. I do not appricate this life... I do not understand this life... I do not fucking get this shit.... i do not know how to feel without contrast... i do not know how to move without cover.... i do not know how to be what i am... and if this is really what i am.. i am pathetic and the idea is fucking much more than anything i ever am.... fuck me... but this is all ive ever been, unless i was something else efore, ut that doesnt matter. DOesnt relate... im ...seriously not caring aoutthings

    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 24, 2012
  2. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    fucking ****s the lot of you. fuck this place.. im tired of connecting and holding onto.. can't fucking remember anything. Nor do I want to write things down and commit to them forever. A dream, limited. Just another fucking distraction. All..distractions. Especially blame.. like the first two statments. Just a distraction.. a response in a distraction. Just more bullshit to horde and isolate a part that "means" something to build from. Build for a hope, another...fucking...dream.
    I feel like im holding a virus back to everything progressive ido. It's the only contrast thats strong enough to retain itself through moments. Whatever..
  3. gem77

    gem77 Well-Known Member

    i'm new to this,.. but do you mind me asking when you felt like this and for how long??
  4. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Guy im burnt out, among some other oddly dissatiotiative issues. The whys about who I am are purely poison at this point... so fuck it I don't care about the past until it all comes to light so I can be fucking honest with all of it at once. I really don't care about anything else. This was not what was supposed to happen... at best I was suppose to make it through this shit and be something, at survive. But now... I know my own methods to a degree. Im tired.. Trying to understand my perspective is just a waste of time, no one close to me gets it, they just get hurt anyhow or Assume to know and then define me based on my actions. Well, here's a fucking clue you pricks..



    Im tired of asking fucking people to delete my threads. I shouldn't have posted, wasn't thinking clearly. I don't want anymore replies.. Ill write something when it works for me
  5. gem77

    gem77 Well-Known Member

    sorry if this angers you, i know you dont want anyone to respond and dont reply if you dont want to. thats cool with me. you just remind me a little of myself, minus a few things. thanks for the link i was listening to that music the other night and got lost in it a little, wrote a lot of the shit down that was going through my head. know of any others like it please message me.