Every time I try and show I care, I end up being even more hurt and miserable than before. So now, the only thing I'm going to care about is where I can get some dope and how I'm going to get the money to pay for it. I really think that's going to be best. Actually, no, what would be best would be if I just killed myself right this very second, but since I'm too much of a fucking coward, I'm just going to do the next best thing. Maybe it'll make me so sick that I won't let fear stop me anymore. One can only hope.