id like to post and rant about my ex girlfriend. Moan and whine about how my life sucks because we broke up. Id be lying. truth is i'm happy were not together. its not her that i'm missing. Frankly she abused me. Used me. and left. I have a deep set lonelyness. the companionship of haveing someone to spend time with. play silly bored games, cuddle, sleep anything really. I feel like a zombie with no reason for being. i dont care about school. i dont care about work. i dont care about my health. i dont sleep. i dont eat. i just want to die. i want to lye down and curl up into a ball. fall asleep and never wake up. iv spent the better part of the last 6 years failing or dropping out of everything i atempt. iv thought about ways to do it. how easy it would be. how i would lye in the bathtub for a week before anyone realizes im missing. i just want it to all be over. im tired of hearing "i understand" or "its all going to be ok" THATS BULLSHIT if it was going to be ok why hasn't it been for so long? why the fuck does everything have to kick me in the face. Im an average build 22 year old male who is actually cute and i have the worst time with everything in my life. Do i have "plagued" written on my head? i just want it to be over. to sleep and not wake up.