L
all my brothers dead i wrote something here long but it didnt save..wow wut a waste things always happen to me.. im a gangmember from la, cali im alone and imma shoot myself.. my dad was a gangster he ded.. all my brothers ded..my mom is the only 1 left.. im thinking of killing her too..its too much pain..and i cant take it..i was shot 11 times wen i was 15 ..im now 17.. my brothers all over 20 and the youngest 19.. 4 bros total.. all dead all shot.. 1 stabbed to death..i joined a gang wen i was 10.. i dont know why i was allowed to live such a life..i might have killed b4.. shot 2 people in my lifetime and til this day dont know if they are dead or not and dont care..i cant talk to any1 cause they dont understand and wen i do.. i cry.. g's dont cry is wut i say to myself and i try to wipe my tears.. its so much pain.. i miss my family i miss my dad i miss my brothers i live my mom she isnt wut she was.. my first bro died in 1999 .. 2 died in 2003 .. my oldest died in 2005..and im all that is left.. my dad died wen i was 12..my life is so sad and no1 cares these is no god..that is my belief he nvr helped me nvr showed my a sign.. nothing good just pain and sadness and tears.. im mexican and thats doesnt help either..i cant stand watching my mom cry herself 2 sleep..cry wen she is home on the couch watching a spanish show..she is not the same person wen she got here on usa.. i wrote more of wut i felt but it didndt save cause i didnt log in.. i typed this over..shit man my bro stole this computer.. im nothing..never was and until now i know that i should remove myself from this piece of shit earth..how could some1 allow a kid to live in such a city of animals.. dog eat dog..kill or be killed a warzone.... all i can say is 18th street 4 life..all i have pride for ..it isnt something any1 can see as being PROUD of but it is to me and thats why no1 will ever understand.. this is the first time i let wut i feel inside be known by white people thanks..u refuse to let a ms-13 piece of shit kill me like my brothers..not me..im killing myself fuk that and fuck the world..i dont wanna write no suicide note..i hope the devil has a cage for me cause he is gonna need it peace i luv u mom i hope u know that.. saying it to u in life doesnt matter to u..too much pain for it make u a little happy..i understand..me too mommy.. man why is life so cruel ..