Years and years

Discussion in 'Let it all out...' started by Twisted F, Oct 20, 2006.

  1. Twisted F

    Twisted F Well-Known Member

    Is there a way to stop needing people? If I could, I would stay as far away from them as I possibly could. People suck, that’s for sure. My life is a sadist creator’s cruelest joke. I can’t be happy without others, but no one wants to be with me. And I don’t want to be with them either, because they always make me miserable anyway.

    My life is a fate as bad as that of Sisyphus, and similar in a way. No matter how hard I try at anything, I always end up where I started, having accomplished absolutely nothing at all. But I won’t kill myself. No, I will live for as long as I possibly can, and every day will be filled with pain and suffering. Year in and year out, the only thing that will make me feel slightly better is that when I go to sleep at night I will know that there is one less day for me to live. But I will live, because life is so damn valuable and meaningful, right? Right. So I will go on, but do as little as possible. I will have no dreams or ambitions. I will not try anything I can fail at. I will go to therapy and let them try and fix me until they give up. I will stay in decent physical shape and eat healthy food to prolong my life. I hate my life, but instead of killing myself, I will make it as sad and tragic as I can. And I will be miserable and lonely for years, maybe decades, before it’s over. And when my last day is upon me, I hope I will know it so that I can die a happy man. That is my only remaining wish.
     
  2. me_

    me_ Guest

    :sad:
    Twisted :hug:
    Not all people "suck". Not all of them will make you miserable. Please don't overgeneralize! And please don't get on the road with your mind made up that you will have a miserable life. You don't know that.
    You know I am here for you! :hug:
     
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I agree with _me. Not all people are bad twisted. Some of us do care for you. I don't know what has happened recently to make you feel this way, but I can say I don't mind being around where you are. I know it is only at the forum we ever meet, but it holds true for here. You do not have to lead a life of misery forever, but if you convince yourself it is true, then how can it be anything but. I am glad you had the courage to post how you were feeling. Keep talking to us. Just maybe we can help you feel a little better about things. :hug:
     
  4. Twisted F

    Twisted F Well-Known Member

    Thanks to both of you for answering, but I’m sorry, you got it all wrong. It’s not about other people, it’s about me. I never said that everyone is bad, I know there are a lot of wonderful people in the world. I was just venting my own frustration over my inability to have meaningful relationships with any of them in real life. That’s all.
     
  5. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Yes, I'm feeling the same way. Its not other people that are the problem, its me, I just can't connect to anyone because I am so inferior and screwed up.