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years of lies do.they really care.

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first off i would like to say i didnt know where to post this so im sorry if i posted it in the wrong forum.

Iv always looked up ot my dad i always listened to what he said but something happened today i found out that what he kept on telling me over and over all was a lie.

Not a white lie worse then that.I mean if i listened to his legal advice i could have wound up in jail.

He keeps on about the law so much like he obsessed if you question him he gets defensive.

I find myself questioning weather or not he loves me or if he cares.
What kind of farther would brainwash their children for years.

Its not just the legal advice he made me belive that things like tax is illegal and that if you are gay you wont go to heaven.

All these things he kept putting in my head only made my life harder i have learnt better now to just not take any notice of what he says.

i feel hurt but i dont know how to feel towards my dad.
i dont know weather to distant myself from him or to be upset with him all i feel right now is very sad and low.

I also question with my mum and dad care about me becuase they let my medical condition go on for 20 years this medical condtion was due to a injury i had when i was 2 years old i was told i slipped on the kitchen floor and thats how i got a hernia.

It was left up untill 6 months ago where i got so ill that i had to call for a ambulance the medical staff said that if i would have left it 24 more hours before calling i would have died.

2 days before i called the ambulance i was in so much pain that i couldnt sleep i couldnt eat.

The doctors at the hospital had a go at my mum and said that i should have been operated on years ago.

I feel really messed up about this all and i dont know how to feel.

I love my parents and i think my mum loves me im not sure about my dad.

I think i really need to go back to counselling and address all these issues with my counsellor.
im so sorry huni. i for oner know how hard lies can bve to deal with. lies are probabl;y the worst thing and to have to deal with them is sometimes very unbearable. i am sorry for you having to deal with them.

i am also sorry you partly blame your parents for the illness...

hugs huni... PM me if u wanna talk at all xx
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