Yep...I Am An Alcoholic

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Godsdrummer, Mar 13, 2009.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest when I moved into my apartment, just 2 days after my wife left of neighbors reached out and we started drinking and hanging going to bars etc.

    He found out I was in AA...and told me that I didnt need that stuff.

    A couple of weeks ago, he started asking me about AA, where the meetings were, etc. Turns out he is an AA member too, and had 10 years of sobriety. I had 4 months, before I went back out on my current bender.

    So he and I started going back to the meetings. There are 2 meetings each night in my town. One at 7pm, and at another location, an 8pm meeting.

    The 8pm group, is my home group and is where my sponser is. My neighbor likes to go to the 7pm he can get home and watch TV.

    I went to a meeting with him on Wednesday at the 7pm meeting. Stayed sober that night.

    Yesterday, after work, I stopped for gas, and sure as shit, I instinctively bought 2 24 oz cans of Steel Reserve. I told my neighbor some bullshit excuse that I was tired and didnt feel like going to a meeting (All I really wanted to do was drink).

    Well it started coming up towards 8pm...I started feeling guilty to what I did to him, and myself...and dragged my sorry rear down to the 8pm meeting. I havent been there in like a month!

    I broke down, cried like a baby....and told the guys I was an idiot. They said, nope...your not an idiot...your an alcoholic.

    After the meeting...and I dont know why, and mind you...I hadnt eaten supper yet, and I need to go to bed around 1030pmish....and this was like 915pm...I stopped at the local liquor store and bought another 24 oz can of SR.

    So I still feel like an idiot, but yep, I am an alcoholic.

    If you don't drink, and are thinking about it....stay away. It's no damn good.
  2. danz

    danz Well-Known Member

    Man alcohol seems to cop a bad rap around here, I see your point and if alcohol is having a negative effect on your life then staying away from the shit is a good idea, you’re attending the aa meetings and getting help, good luck with it and for the record you shouldnt feel like an idiot. They say the first step is admitting you have a problem so your on your way.
    Personally I find it helps me relax and stop caring even if it’s only short term! And for the record its only short term if you stop drinking. I'm still in denial.
  3. Your not an idiot, you are an alcoholic. I have been to AA too. I hated it. I especially hate holding a bunch of guys hands at the end, yuck!!! I have quit drinking before, but I was more depressed. If you like to drink, drink for all means. :smile:
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