Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ybt, Aug 26, 2007.
does this ever end? :dry:
Thoughts will end...life will cease...and change will always be the one permanent thing in our life...
Today was a day of contemplation and thoughts. My realisation that the determination about my fate is growing and outweighing my moments of fear...
Observations become rather detailed and sharp...I couldn't fail to notice your number of postings today: 666 the number of the beast...hope you are not suspicious
Yes and No
Probably not what you want to hear.
I am living proof, way back in 1998/99, I came very very very close, to taking that final step, looking back now, how mad was that, what was the point, silly boy.
Some 8 years later, I know I do things very slowly, I do still have the odd day when it flashes through my mind, like a lightning bolt, but then its gone again, having been there, it is a part of me, one I'm not too proud of, in fact it was only this year, I told my older brother about it, in a by the way kind of conversation, he has know idea, just how close a call it was that day, so I suppose the memory of it will always be there, but I dont think about it all the time, its not on my mind as soon as I have a drink, it doesn't get me down, I have never even come close to acting on those thoughts again.
I guess its a bit like a really nasty cut, it takes a long time to heal up, but it hurts a little less each day, one day it won't hurt at all, one day it will just be a little scar, one day I will have forgoten about it all together, that process has already started, I cant remember the exact date or time any more.
So yes the thoughts you are thinking will go away, but like everything in life the memories of something like that, will fade over time, but will always be a parts of you, if you take something from it and learn from it, like I did, then it doesn't have to be a bad thing, I was lucky, I saw what I was about to do for what it really was.
it ends at death, just my thoughts anyway...