Yep, so I've decided....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SAVE_ME, Jun 30, 2009.

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  1. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    .....I'm ending this once and for all, don't care, had enough.
     
  2. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Nooo don't give up. You have a cool sig btw, just wanted to say that first!
    Why do you want to give up? Your such a valued member of Sf, if that helps you, gives you something to hold onto, to keep you going through the days. Don't leave us :hug:
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Please don't do this. :sad:
    You can get through it, keep trying. Easier said than done,but you've gotten this far, you can do it again :)
    I hope you reconsider :hug:
     
  4. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    I dunno what else to do. I just feel so emotionally drained right now and I just feel like calling it quits. The doctor did put me on some new antidepressants because the citalopram wasn't working. Now I'm on sertraline, but it's doing nothing but make me weepy and snappy towards others. Earlier I just broke down in front of the laptop cause I just couldn't hack it anymore. And it's like the smallest simplest thing is enough to set me off these days. I logged onto MSN earlier and my ex (who I'm still pretty close with) never even said 'hi' until I said it, and she usually does. Sounds stupid I know, but like I said, small things seem to trigger me. I'm getting really worked up and paranoid because I think she hates me. I think she wasn't satisfied the first time she dumped me and she's trying to hurt me again :(:(:( I'm sh*t scared that she's gonna hurt me again. And the thing is, she could apologise like 100 times over, kiss my feet, shine my shoes but I still won't ever be able to fully trust her ever again.

    I just feel so hated and neglected and unloved by a lot of people right now. No one on MSN besides her talks to me anymore, or on facebook or myspace. Tell me, those of you who've seen my posts, have I ever done anything to upset anyone? If so then believe me it was unintentional and I apologise. I would never knowingly do or say anything to hurt anyone, and it's so unfair, because I don't deserve this. Those who bullied and taunted me, why can't it be them wanting to take their own lives? Sorry if this sounds harsh but I swear, people who are as nasty and spiteful as they were to me don't deserve to breathe life. All I ever did was try to follow the rules and not be a d**che, and this is where it's gotten me.

    I hate everything! I hate myspace! I hate facebook! I hate the way pretty much everyone on there ignores me yet lick each others' arses for getting drunk or getting a sandwich or w/e. F*cking depressing when everyone else gets 10 likes and you get none. Basically sums up just about how popular I am. God they must laugh at me, the guys from the school. They must think I'm a loser!

    Even my own family don't keep in touch with me. And I wish parents would shut the hell up unless they have something helpful to say. Being told that it's apparently my fault I'm feeling this way.....:rolleyes: And if it keeps up they're cutting off the internet because it seems to trigger me....true, but without it I'll be even worse because posting here, talking to my ex, they're just about the only things keeping me from going through with it. Would they really be that f*cking evil to me? I have no one in the real world to turn to!

    Anyway, probably no need to panic. For a moment I felt like actually doing it but it's calmed a bit. One minute I feel more suicidal than ever, next minute I'm....well, not fine, but not suicidal....still feel pretty crappy though.
     
  5. Nyx

    Nyx Member

    OMG can I ever relate!!!! Same situation with the facebook and msn with no one talking to me yet everyone else gets spoken to and I don't do anything wrong.

    My ex was ignoring me on msn and he was the only thing keeping me "okay" and then he deleted me, I tried to kill myself, was in the hospital and all he said was "I was too much drama" and this is after knowing what happened. And after him deleting me and refusing to add me back to facebook. Next week when I'm out of the hospital he's got a f****ing girl around his arm on his profile pic and I was with him for 6 f****ing years and he never ONCE put me on there cause I wasn't his race.

    Every little thing is setting me off too, like someone will look at me the wrong way or say something small and I will be ready with a noose. WTF!? :(

    This guy won't really talk to me now and he has someone else and all I think about is how he's drilling her and or will with other women and it makes me want to die even more. I'm wondering if it is a good idea talking with your ex. I know exactly how you feel about it making you feel like you still have something to hold on to, but what if she starts dating? Or she wants to stop talking? This guy told me even after the break up, he would be there no matter WHAT and he left. I think it's much healthier to not talk to her right now. I KNOW how hard this is, trust me, it made me suicidal just knowing he wouldn't be there and I had to go to the hospital twice cause I wasn't safe enough around myself over it. But honestly, it hurt me so much to talk to him. Always expecting, hoping, waiting for those sweet little nothings.
     
  6. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    omg so many relate to you,just those little things

    Here's what brant me back after here after 3 days

    Txtin a girl I'm really close to

    We were talking and if I say I love you I usually get it back

    Me: I love you wow that was random
    Her:yea it was
    Me:.........hmmm(I do that when I don't know what to say

    your not the only one,take it easy,if the person I loved deleted me on a msn type thing I would make sure I die


    If you attempt and and live
    Your meant to be here
    Gods wants you
    Here
     
  7. elvinchild

    elvinchild Well-Known Member

    You can feel free to talk to me on facebook. I don't use msn or aim, but I'm on facebook a lot and really need people to talk to too!

    facebook.com/kalafarnham
     
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