Yes/No - Maybe so?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Saoirse, May 24, 2007.

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  1. Saoirse

    Saoirse Guest

    The title doesn't really have any relevance to this thread, but I just like saying/typing 'Yes/No - Maybe so'.

    Anywhoo, past few weeks/months/years nothing has changed for me. There have been more problems mental and physical of course but the depression is still there, social anxiety is still holding my hand like a vice.

    But can I really complain about it, can I? I don't know the answer to that. Am I truly justified to feel the way I do? To want to commit suicide to end it.

    Sure I have no job, not much money, no friends, can't really leave my home, slightly degraded every day, talked down to by some. OCD, depression. and have to watch my mum get sicker and sicker then take over the responsibility of my younger brother and the rent of this house and all the bills.

    But I have 2 brothers, a sister and my mum. I have my dog. I have a roof over my head and food to eat when I'm hungry. What do I have to complain about? Why do I want to commit suicide when I have what others don't. Why doesn't this make me content, what is lacking in my life ...

    Will I ever find my balls to end it or do the right thing and keep going to help my family, because if I ended up being able to go through with it, I'd just be leaving al of my problems onto my family. Me or them is what is basically comes down to. :huh:

    I have no idea what to do or what I am talking about anymore. It's like being a bit of drift wood in the ocean, just going where ever the ocean takes you, seeing land, seeing normality as it were but never able to reach it.
  2. Savior

    Savior Active Member

    Normality is such an overrated matter...
    I'd say you stay positive about the things you have - thats something we all should do - and try to understand that if you dont kill yourself it's not because you have no guts. It's totally the opposite :)
    I think of myself and people who have similar thoughts, like me and you i suppose, as of life warriors
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I wish I could make things better for you. take away all the negative things from this past year and replace them with only good. I know how hard it is for you to be strong for your family, to be the only one responsible enough to take on the challenges you face. You are far too young to have to assume these responsibilities, yet you accept that they need to be done and do them without questioning. I wish my son were as strong and understanding as you are. BTW, Ian is back. :blink:
  4. scottyblaze

    scottyblaze New Member

    rest in peace, i love you man
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