Yesterday while you slept...

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by -GirlxNextxDoor-, Feb 6, 2008.

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  1. -GirlxNextxDoor-

    -GirlxNextxDoor- Well-Known Member

    i tried to kill myself yesterday i had enough
    i sat in my room listening to some crap music on kerrang, i had just had a shower so i was wet but it didn't stop me, i brought the blade across my arm quite a few times which left my arm bleeding, sore and now in horrible gashes, i drank my vodka i had and was going to take the pills but i felt dizzy and weak so instead i curled up on the floor, and cried myself to sleep.
    when i woke i had blood caked on the side of my face, covering my arm and hair, i had a terrible headache and a little sad i didn't die but also a little happy. :unsure:

    at school people noticed the bandages but i told them some fake story of being pushed in brambles, some who knew about my self harming problem
    so they thought they knew EVERYTHING that had happened and started frowning at me, ha little did they know i had tried to commit suicide. sadly things didn't go well at school as one of my friends had started telling everyone i self harmed i have managed to tell them i don't most believe me but i don't think my mate jack does as he keeps asking me if i am okay...*sigh*
    as soon as i got home today i went upstairs hid myself in the bathroom, turned the music on and quietly cried to myself as i cut. life is hellish for me at the moment, but i don't think i will try suicide again...for now :sad:
  2. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Pills wont kill you right away. If you have taken a lot you should go to the doc and get checked out. They will mess up your liver and internal organs. Or as the consultant said to me... make my liver sort of explode as it cant cope anymore. I thought that by taking a big overdose it would end everything. Basically muy boyfriend could tell i wasnt right so said if I wouldnt go to hospital with him he would call the police who would make me go. I had taken them bout 2 hours previous and gone to bed in the middle of the day thinking that I would not wake up. I woke up and just felt sick, he said he could tell was more than a cold and guessed what I had done as found empty packets in bin. Anyway as it turned out I had taken quite a lot over the known lethal dose but it can take weeks to kill you. So I was stuck on a drip for 3 days in hospital. Not a fun way to spend time. My boyfriend did get me a cat though thinking it would cheer me up. lol. He is a rigght pain in the ass, as much as I love him he jsut constantly wants fuss. As i type he is sitting on my chest!
  3. Light_In_The_Dark

    Light_In_The_Dark Well-Known Member

    Pls dont kill yourself! :hug:
  4. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    It does depend what type of pills they are. No matter what though you should go to the hospital and get checked out as you dont wanna cause lasting damage. xxx
  5. BlueMia

    BlueMia Member

    please don't kill yourself.

    i don't pretend to know what you're going through right now kat...because i don't really know what's on your mind- but i have dealt with the same sort of things.

    for instance, one of my close friends committed suicide a year ago next month. recently, i've started thinking about her a lot which makes me even sadder and even had me cut myself once. but what i do, is that i just think that she's at piece right now and if she knew what i was doing she would be so mad at me....then that just makes me laugh at the memory of her and i feel cheerful again.

    and my parents- god, i am having trouble with them right now. i can't really explain it, they're more like bullies that parents to me. but you have to understand that all your friends are here for you, and that if you end it all you will be leaving behind a whole army of sad people who will not understand why you died.

    please please look after yourself.

    all my love and huggles
  6. -GirlxNextxDoor-

    -GirlxNextxDoor- Well-Known Member

    let me repeat i did not take the pills! i do not need to go doctors!
    i was too drunk and weak to care about the pills so i gave up and went to sleep which i sadly woke up from :mellow:
  7. -GirlxNextxDoor-

    -GirlxNextxDoor- Well-Known Member

    thankyou mazzy, the main thing i am worried about is that i am losing too much blood lately and that people will believe charlotte as i have a feeling jack does as he is being all quiet and stares at me with concern which is really creepy as i know him to be hyper and rude.
    parents can be a pain i know :) but we can't kill them like i want as then we will be killed when we turn into adults and have children :huh::laugh:

    and you know you are really intelligent and know me as i hate it when people go, i know what you are going through ARGHH its soooo annoys me!
    and stop using the God's name in vain you little christian!

    my huggles, wuggles, fuggles, zuggles, ruggles, and ouggles to you too :tongue:
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Sorry to hear you are going through difficult times at the moment, I'm glad you said you don't think you will try to commit suicide again. I really hope things improve for you hun, give life a chance :hug:
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You said that you were a little sad but also a little happy you didn't die. Hang on to that part of you which wants to go on with life.
  10. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni


    Please take care. :)
  11. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    how you feeling today hun, when did you last cut? Sorry bout the misunderstaning before. With the cutting thing, ou should go see a doc though. You dont want the wounds to become infected or anything. How often are you cutting
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