yet again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by music_addict, Dec 8, 2006.

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  1. music_addict

    music_addict Well-Known Member

    Like the title says, ive set a tenative date to end it on Sunday. Recent events in my life have reaffirmed to me that even when i actually try to be positive, something will always bring me back down. No matter what i do, i am always met with failure and diapointment.
    I mean whats the point of continuing on if i know ill just fail in whatever i try to do? and the lonliness and PTSD doesnt help things either.
    I dont even know why im posting this shit here. All of you will undoubtedly be better off once my loser ass is gone. all i ever do is make other peoples lives worse.
    Wow, ive managed to make myself feel even worse. I feel like screaming and crying at the same time.
  2. zen14

    zen14 Guest

    I know the feeling.

    On one hand you feel like dyin, on the other ya just wanna scream "SOMEONE GIVE A DAMN GOD DAMNIT!"

    Sorry none <mod edit: helena-insulting> here who responded to others responded to you.

    But I DO understand.
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2006
  3. gitana

    gitana SF Friend & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Its_all_too_much.. I understand completely.. it is all too much!! I going through hell right now with shit in my life and right now I can't tell you that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.. I have been away for awhile from the forum healing up from surgery and my heart goes deeply out to you.. I have been there many many times.. many attempts, seriously.. very serious and here I am.. yeah, I was angry I bounced back.. finding SF has saved my life and talking to people here has helped. There are very wonderful people here who DO care about your situation and have walked in your shoes.. That is why we are all here.. to help each other..

    I know and cam write a novel about no matter what, being positive something will always bring me down.. and yes, I am NOT
    just saying that at all.. I know.. it hurts deeply, the failure and the disappointment that happens.. I know and understand the lonliness too as well as many people here do..

    The point is that you are here reaching out to us.. talking to us.. I have PTSD and many other mood disorders too.. Please don't do anything right now, you aren't thinking very clearly right now.. I know.. have been there many many times.. and I really sincerely with all my heart, hope you will give us a chance.. first.. I know you are in deep pain, shattered dreams, broken heart, and so much more.. and it is hard to hang on.. Yes, what is the point?

    Well, I don't have the answers as I have been hit hard with some devastating stuff in my life myself.. And that is where I always go.. to suicide.. the only option I have otherwise.. however, in spite of the pain I am going through.. and I have no problem doing whatever.. I come here first.. I have made many sincere friends here who have been there for me, walked me through. put up with me, listened to me, cared about me.. yeah, I have had dates set.. and sometimes it didn't matter to me, if I did.. I am still here.. and I am here for you.. Let's talk more.. what has hurt you again so deeply that you want to end it? Give us a chance first and you know, that option is always there.. lurking around the corner.. but not now, okay.. please.. I really care about you and my heart deeply goes out to you.. Like I said, I hope you will give us a chance.. Please feel free to PM me anytime.. let's talk more or here if you want to share.. You will find others can really relate to you much here.. as we all have been there.. Okay?? Lean on us to help you through this time.. and be there for you always.. I know.. okay???

    NO we will NOT be better off without you. I don't believe that you make other people's lives worse and you are NOT a loser at all!! Nobody is a loser at all here..

    I am really happy that you wrote us.. yeah, I know that feeling all too well, feeling like making oneself feel even worse.. Scream, cry, it is okay.. you are in pain and in need of deep healing.. It is healthy to do that.. I am just learning it is okay.. I have never cried before and I have been through so much.. I have to be strong and go on.. but the pain is overwhelming in our hearts.. Now, I may cry a little.. There is a book out called "Failure To Scream" and it talks about the people who scream and cry are the most healthiest and come through the pain they are enduring but the ones who don't, are not as healthy and takes longer to get healed if at all.. I haven't read the book just parts of it .. my T(therapist) told me about..

    Are you in counseling? Just thought I would ask..

    I really care and I hope that you will reconsider and give us a chance.. here.. You aren't here by accident.. When I found SF accidentally, of course, I had plans and the means and was set on doing it.. The people here.. really talked to me and were here for me... and reached out to me.. Let us reach out to you in your pain and broken heart..

    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 9, 2006
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