Yet another person walks away

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by whytryanymore, Feb 19, 2010.

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  1. whytryanymore

    whytryanymore Well-Known Member

    Ok so this is quite literally happening as i type. My girlfriend of nearly a year is leaving me, not for another man(although it wouldnt supprise me i have had my suspisions), not for any of the typical reasons(well to non-depressed ppl anyway). She is leaving me because i told her i was depressed today so that is why i havent been talking to her, she asked what was wrong and i cant tell her. If i did she would either a: use my own feelings against me or b: leave me right then, i mean would you want to be with someone who was the cause of their dysfunctional family, the one who caused the divorce and basically every problem the family has ever had. Hell i dont even want to be me so how can i tell the one person in this world who hasnt ran screaming from my life yet that i am severely depressed, bipolar, and extremely suicidal. Im at the point now where its an odd day when i dont think about suicide or stand on an overpass for and hour or so and just look down at my potential doom, or is it freedom?

    I just cant do it i cant tell her ive been hurt too much to do it ill do anything else but tell her, id even marry her right this instant and get her pregnant even though i have no way to support even myself just to keep her mind off the subject of what im depressed about. Please someone tell me what to do that doesnt involve me telling her but somehow being able to keep her i do love her and dont want to lose her but there are some things i just cant do and tell her my entire past, not just the churched up stuff, is one of them.

    Oh yeah and im a lot slow and cannot figure out the chat room thing cant access it, an i just retarded or do i have to pay or be a certain member rating or something?
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 19, 2010
  2. Anonymous11

    Anonymous11 Member

    You can't blame yourself for everything, It is not all your fault if you love her and she loves you let her help you. You don't have to tell her everything just take one step at a time.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No you are not slow it took me along time to figure out chat you need a program to getinto in adobe i think You have to download that program first then you can get into chat. I have told the person i am married to nothing about my past but he can see i am depressed i dont' need to tell him that. for any relationship to work there has to be some kind of communication connection. Get some therapy to help you with your depression and mental illnesses this will get you thinking differently and be more positive. A good psychologist can help your mind change into thinking more clearly. Call her up and just talk to her let her know how you feel about her and that you don't want to loose her. Talk communicate help her out a bit so she understands. you are making her feel useless by not talking to her try.
  4. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    got married before i was diagnosed

    keep telling her to leave - that i'll give her the house and everything because she deserves better - but she refuses to go

    maybe you should let her make up her own mind - she may leave anyway but you should take the chance
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I do think you should let her make up her own mind. She probably feels like there are things you're not telling her, and that might be pushing her away.

    For Chat, you need a program called Java on your computer. If you need any help with it, just ask!
  6. whytryanymore

    whytryanymore Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all the help, however i have let her make her own decision to stay or leave when i told her of my most recent attempt, she made me feel stupid for doing it,i know she meant the best but it still hurts. The hardest part about all ths is the fact that we are 400 miles apart and she will only text me she never accepts my calls, maybe thats why i dont want to tell her even the slightest thing. i dont know im just sitting here scared confused and alone.
  7. whytryanymore

    whytryanymore Well-Known Member

    Ok so ive installed java and all the thing the java site sais to do if its not working have already been done and i still cannot enter the chat room this really sucks im really starting to thing im just not meant to enter the chat room which sucks cuz then maybe i wouldnt haveto put such pointless posts like this one up all the time. I dont know why i continue to try anymore i always either fail or just f it up, the story of my life kinda, more like i always f it up and cause problems for others. Oh and i told her a little of what was going on and i dont know what to think of what she said, she kinda blamed my mom and kinda my dad, i dont understand it the situation came about because i did, not them, I am always at fault in situations like that or basically any bad situation it is my fault especially if you have ever been around me or had the unfortunate experience of knowing me and my situation, it tends to either bring others down or cause more problems for them.
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    What happens when you try to enter chat? Do you get any sort of error message, or is it just not working?

    Your posts aren't pointless; you can post as much as you want to!

    The situation you're in isn't your fault! I know you think it is, and maybe there's not much I can do to change that. But I've read through this whole post, and none of what has happened is your fault.
  9. whytryanymore

    whytryanymore Well-Known Member

    when i click on enter chat it just goes to a page that sais the forum uses addon software and that i need to download java, and when i click the float option it gives me the same message in a diferent window.

    Im sorry i am being so difficult and sorta ignoring all the advice, i do read and understand it i know how to lead a "happy" life i just cant everything affects me soo much i take nearly everything bad to heart and all the compliments and such i just sorta shrug off like ppl are just trying to be nice i dont actually do anything good. Oh yeah and now she wont talk to me at all its been all day since i told her ive sent her a few messages but no response. Oh well nothing new really most ppl i love walk away from me
  10. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    What's your computer's operating system, and which browser do you use?

    You don't ever have to apologize here. :hug:
  11. whytryanymore

    whytryanymore Well-Known Member

    windows xp home and i use IE dont know the version though
  12. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Your Java add-on might be disabled. Try this;

    Under Internet Options, go to the Programs tab
    Then manage add-ons
    Toolbars & Extensions
    Currently Loaded Add-ons
    Make sure Sun Java Console is enabled.

    That's for IE 8.0, which is the one I have. If that doesn't work, go into your IE Help and click on About Internet Explorer. That should tell you which version you have, and we can go from there.
  13. whytryanymore

    whytryanymore Well-Known Member

    I have IE 8.0 as well everything says java is working maybe its just the computer or security setup which i dont want to mess with since its not my computer
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