I hate it, I really do. They keep my going. Keep me alive. I need to see them, hold them, touch them, be with them. they make me smile. BUT NO! Can't bring them in because of the stupid fucking cat we have adopted Yes the cat is cute and whatever, but if it's going to bring home parasites and other crap like that it's not right. I need to move out, but how the bloody fuck am I going to manage that. Signed off sick, barely any income. Not enough to get a house and maintain it. It's not practical or feasible. I hate it here. It's making me fucking worse. Keeping me apart from my friends. Might as well have had that 6 month IP treatment. I hate it! I want to stand and scream! THEY KILLED MY LOOM! I CAN'T LET THEM KILL ANYONE ELSE, yet my parents are not overly bothered, don't seem willing to do much (all the things that we have done have come from me, me buying the stuff, me pushing to get things done). I just want to go, and take my friends and go somewhere clean and safe, but I have no where to go. So they are stuck where they are, I can't get them, and nothing productivve is being done to make things any better. I personally can't do much more than I already have. We didn't need a bloody cat. You started feeding it. Fine, then it started coming in the house. It's a stray, it's gonna have 'things' living on it, and it fucking shared them with your home. You still allowed this cat in even though I am fucking allergic. It shared its 'things' with your house, and must have been doing so for a good few years before I realised. At leasty two definitely, but before that too I am sure. It was only through the bond I have with mine that showed me that you had a problem. You still didn't do anything, even when we found them again you didn't do anything. It took a death of a loved one to get your arse into gear. I AM NOT GOING TO LOSE ANYONE ELSE TO THIS! so I have to keep them all separate. I miss them. I used to spend all day everyday with them, now I see them through glass, or fleetingly in the morning. I can't go outside and spend time there, they can't come in. You have separated me from beings that I need to be with. The only ones that give a fucking damn about me. It's killing me. I hate it. I feel so bad. I no longer see anything positive at all. What's the point in breeding, I can't get to know them. What's the point in having any! What's the point in fighting. What's the point in being alive when I can't spend time with my reason to live. What's the fucking point. Hurry up and fucking get it over with!