Hello people. Name is not important as I am not here to receive a pat on the back, a hug, or kind words of encouragement. I am a highly intelligent person with problems not unlike everyone else. Only possible difference here is that I am rapidly nearing my breaking point for the second time, only now I am older wiser and even more ashamed at my species. I am not considering suicide to gain attention or hurt anyone else, only to quiet what I know will drive me (and I am very serious here) crazy. I know some of you reading this are thinking suicide isn't very intelligent there buddy! I agree completely and if it was not for my deep thoughts and ability to learn just about anything with little effort I would not be typing this right now. I guess I'm obviously here for selfish reasons sadly. With all the potential that resides in me, once being an electronics technician on medical helicopters and was until within days ago working on my electrical engineering degree, hit for the countless time with the imaginary wall that keeps some of us behind our potential. I see those, that are important, but don't have half my potential rise to the top as I have fought my whole life just to keep a float. Add in the fact that about 90% of the worlds population sickens me or makes me want to do evil things due to greed, corruption, no consideration, etc ( I could go on for ever). Finally my life of living in a hole, digging partly out if not all the way out, and then falling back down (I know many can relate to this). Everyone has a breaking point mentally, my interest here is not to change my way of thinking as only I can do that and I have no interest in changing myself, only finding another persons insight that may help me push through as I know that if I cant make it through my final attempt at my place in this world there will be no other. PS: I am not religious and am not here, as I stated above, for cheer me up speeches so please don't waste your time with either, much appreciated.