You can buy friends

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Dark, Apr 4, 2015.

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  1. Dark

    Dark Active Member

    Has anyone heard of or tried Basically someone adverts themselves as a friend and you pay them per hour to do activities with you. It says most people charge 10 dollars an hour..... so if I wanted to have somebody to do things with for the whole day, it'd be around 80 dollars. Would you do it and think it's a good idea? I'm heavily considering it, I've tried joining groups and stuff, but it's so hard to make friends from those. The thing is it might not be a genuine friendship if I'm paying them, so I'm wondering if it's actually even possible that it eventuates into a long lasting friendship. I means it says they can forgo the fee at some point.... but cynically I'm going to say most people will keep charging.
  2. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I doubt this will be beneficial to the paying party. I can understand how it could result in a genuine friendship but I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who charges me for their company.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If they were volunteering their time then perhaps a friendship could come of this but being paid to be someone friend does not sound appropriate really but that is me perhaps it is better then being alone i don't know but one would have to be so careful so dam careful when doing this because you don't know the person really who is coming their background history
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I think this is the worst idea ever!! You cannot buy friendship, that comes from within yourself and compatibility. Like TE said you do not know the background of these people and if they were 'good' people they would never charge someone for friendship in the first place.
  5. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter

    I agree with others on principle but sometimes you have to forget about principles and do what make you happy.

    I do stuff that are not really socially acceptable. Considering I don't hurt anyone, I will continue to do what helps me without any afterthoughts.
  6. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It is no different than any other form of paid companionship. For some it is absolutely fine, and for some it is useless. I would really warn though that as with any other type of paid companionship, I would be on guard against presuming "real" anything would develop from it - it is their job , nothing more. If you are doing it because you want to go to the movies or dinner and do not want to go alone then by all means it seems very reasonable. If you are doing it a s a way to "break the ice" to meet real friends to hang out with I would expect you will be disappointed.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 8, 2015
  7. Dark

    Dark Active Member

    Thank you, it's always nice to hear different opinions to weigh on a decision. I predicted most people would be averted to it, but I guess I should've elaborated more on my current circumstances that I accidentally omitted. I'm moving pretty far away from my location soon for some limited program and I don't know anybody there. As it stands, it's already difficult enough, the feeling of being a robot, no mental or emotional connection with anybody outside the mental health field or in the land of the internet.

    BUT they are still physically there, at the least. Over there, I know literally nobody at all. I've tried help groups and whatnot in the past. Recently I lasted for about 45 minutes, before it got too awkward for me and I decided to go home and be alone, I did try to do it the conventional way. I'm worried of being "truly" alone, no spiritual connection AND physical connection with anybody. There is however a worker assigned to me in the program, but they aren't really a "friend" who you could do the usual "let's hang out and go bowling" at any time friends.

    Simply, I'm at a crossroad of dilemma here. Should I live as a complete recluse, while my life drips away before me, where I don't have any friendships at all. Or a monetary, artificial friendship which has a slim chance of eventuating into a genuine one and where money will no longer play a part. (Slim chance, but it may happen.) It's extremely hard for me to make friends in groups for some unknown reason; the social anxiety really consumes your confidence. At times, I wish you could just create your own real life friends, life would be a lot simpler.
  8. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi again,

    I was wondering how the help groups work? Do people sit together and discuss topics with a mediator present? I'm not sure how I would feel in such a situation. I tend not to do well in group situations due to the anxiety.

    Anyway, would you consider trying them again? I'm not sure how the 45 minutes last time went, was it awkward throughout or did that become worse over the time?

    I don't think a solitary life is beneficial to ones health; mental or physical, so with regards to your question, given the context I would choose the monetary, artificial friendship. I think Northern makes a fair point and while I see the merits of an escort service, a true friend would not ask for money to be around you. The chances are fairly slim that a true, meaningful friendship will develop from such a scenario. I think you would have a better chance of meeting someone who shares similar views and connections with you, if you visited clubs or forums that share the same hobbies and interest as yourself.

    I do hope the relocation is a new chapter in your life and that you are able to make many friends. You don't deserve to be alone, none of us do, and at the very least; this site will be here to give you support and help if you need it. As for your final sentence, I wish that it was true.
  9. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter

    My way to socialize is with specific activites.

    When i was in a big city i would go to a poker club every thursday. Made friends there after some times.

    It works with almost any interest. Like bowling? There is leagues everywhere, just go and give your name. There is book clubs, video games clubs, common cuisine groups etc

    I think rent a friend can be good if you feel lonely or to help you get into a group activity, but you should see it as a temporary thing.
  10. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Hmm, maybe I will use a site like this. Though I doubt any amount of money would be enough to make someone want to be my friend. Sounds like it could be helpful to some people though.
  11. Dark

    Dark Active Member

    Thanks for the input. I guess I still have some time to think about this, as it's in a few months. We'll see how I settle in to the new area. The help groups were exactly as you described them Cicada and I don't think I'll try the groups, at least not for a while.
  12. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, Dark. I just saw this thread now. I agree that rent-a-friend relationships are a little risky and might not be for real. Northern has a good idea in joining in groups that are involved in things we like or that are of interest to us. Having a shared interest or activity provides something in common to talk about or do. Since it usually takes some time to get to know others, at least we can fully enjoy the activity.

    What sorts of things do you like to do? Or maybe there is something brand new you would like to try...? I hope it works out for you. Keep us posted. :)
  13. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi dark. The quickest way I made friends in the past was to volunteer for something I was very interested in. For me it was the arts and social politics. Good luck !
  14. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere is another thing for people to meet other people. One of my coworkers swear by it.
  15. shadowonthewall

    shadowonthewall Well-Known Member

    I'm an extremely lonely person, but I'd rather have no friends at all than have only pity friends...let alone a 'friend' that I would have to financially compensate for the burden of enduring my company of an afternoon. However, if I really desperately needed another person for practical purposes, perhaps I would consider it...but with no expectations of a genuine friendship developing. It would be far better to have a service where people such as myself could make friends with others facing the same issue. I know that exists and I have signed up to a couple of groups (without ever having the courage to attend an event), but it would be good to have something that would work as a 1 - 1 matchup service for friendships.
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