I'm sure this happens to everyone. You know there is something you want, but you know you can never get. So, you do your best to try not to want that thing, because you will only be hurt knowing you can never get it. In my case, one of these things is that I absolutely know that I will never get a girlfriend nor marry. I know this has been the source or a major source of depression for many here, many in my age group as well. After I move out of my parent's home, I will life the rest of my life (hopefully short life) alone. Why must I think about it then, because it only pains me. Is there something telling me subconsciously that I shouldn't just give up all hope and something good will happen to me? I don't even know fully if I want a girlfriend for instance or not. Maybe I really don't care for one, but maybe I am upset because I don't fit in the rest of society, because others have made comments about why I haven't had a girlfriend yet. Wait until they find out I'll never get one, see what hurtful things they say next. I am an extremely sensitive person. It really hasn't been high on my priorities, all I have cared about are really videogames and computers, all my completely pathetic life has lived for, seen enjoyment and pleasure in. I think because my parents have started to think about an arranged marriage for me from India, is why it keeps popping up on my radar recently. An arranged marriage doesn't sound that appealing to me, yet is probably the only way a pathetic piece of shit like me could get a significant other. I'd also give her a chance of a better life here in the U.S and Canada, I being citizens of both countries. I should share with her the privileges in my life that I don't deserve at all, that is one good thing I could do in my life.