You can never get it, so you try not to want it.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by TheBLA, Nov 28, 2009.

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  1. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I'm sure this happens to everyone. You know there is something you want, but you know you can never get. So, you do your best to try not to want that thing, because you will only be hurt knowing you can never get it.

    In my case, one of these things is that I absolutely know that I will never get a girlfriend nor marry. I know this has been the source or a major source of depression for many here, many in my age group as well. After I move out of my parent's home, I will life the rest of my life (hopefully short life) alone. Why must I think about it then, because it only pains me. Is there something telling me subconsciously that I shouldn't just give up all hope and something good will happen to me?

    I don't even know fully if I want a girlfriend for instance or not. Maybe I really don't care for one, but maybe I am upset because I don't fit in the rest of society, because others have made comments about why I haven't had a girlfriend yet. Wait until they find out I'll never get one, see what hurtful things they say next. I am an extremely sensitive person.

    It really hasn't been high on my priorities, all I have cared about are really videogames and computers, all my completely pathetic life has lived for, seen enjoyment and pleasure in. I think because my parents have started to think about an arranged marriage for me from India, is why it keeps popping up on my radar recently. An arranged marriage doesn't sound that appealing to me, yet is probably the only way a pathetic piece of shit like me could get a significant other. I'd also give her a chance of a better life here in the U.S and Canada, I being citizens of both countries. I should share with her the privileges in my life that I don't deserve at all, that is one good thing I could do in my life.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 29, 2009
  2. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    Unless you are hideously deformed then you will get a girlfriend eventually. You just have to put yourself out there. Moving out from your parents house will be a start, that will show women you are able to stand on your own two feet (unless you're still a teenager, in which case it doesn't matter). I used to think I would never get a girlfriend either, but that was when I was fat and unattractive in high school. It took a while 'til after high school, but I got a girlfriend who I loved deeply. We split up after a few months, but that isn't the point. The point is that I believed I wouldn't ever get a girlfriend, and after a while I got one. You will too, as long as you appear to be a good and decent person. And get a little confidence if you don't have any already, it will go a long way.

    Also, change your attitude. Nobody will want to be with you if you think you'll never have a girlfriend or are moody and annoying all the time. I'm not saying you are, but I know that that will steer girls away from you.
  3. jacknife

    jacknife Guest

    I don't recommend the arranged marriage. Your personalities might be completely different, and the relationship could end badly. It's not worth the risk; you're sensitive, the experience may leave you unwilling to try any kind of relationship again for a long time.

    There are a lot of females in similar situations to the one you've described. Asocial personality types have become increasingly common in today's times. I know people who've led solitary lives and didn't marry until their thirties. The bonds made between mature adults are the ones that usually last, and those who wed in their teens and twenties are much more likely to divorce if you check the statistics.

    Trust in your self, you'll know when and if you're ready. Those who attempt to force their will upon you are ignorant, their egos are speaking for them. They lack your life experiences and mind, even if their intentions are good.
  4. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Tobes, for many people it's just not as simple as "putting yourself out there" and "changing your attitude." If you're severely depressed, shy, have social anxiety, etc., then it's simply impossible to overcome relationship issues through force of will alone. I'm glad that you were find the confidence and the right attitude you needed, but it's not so easy for people like me (and possibly Rahul).

    More on topic, I've been feeling this way a lot lately. Not for the same reasons- I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want a partner even if I could somehow get one. Actually, I'm not even sure what I want anymore; all I know is that I don't have it, whatever it is. It used to be pretty straightforward: my goal was a wife, kids, good career, my own house, the whole standard package. But something has definitely changed along the way. Now all I feel, each and every day, is a profound and desperate emptiness. Everything just seems so ephemeral, so completely shallow and useless. So I'm just about ready to give up on it all.
  5. I do not

    I do not Guest

    "You can never get it, so you try not to want it."

    Yes. Just right that but something inside me still not stop want it. I want to kill it so I can live alone without wanting.
  6. I do not

    I do not Guest

    I just thinking about this more and that is my main problem. This is the reason why I do not want to do anything. I feel it is unfair from world for me to be not giviving me anything good. Life is not worth it if I have got only job and money for living ( I do not have it either). Life is nothing without people around. It is just be dead already when still breath. I do not have desire to do anything I just want to yell kiss my ass you fraken useless life. Give me first something nice and I give them something. Before it do not talk to me and screw you!
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