You can tell me anything, I'm not like the others

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by weevil, Aug 25, 2011.

  1. weevil

    weevil Well-Known Member

    Sound familiar? A girl I was recently sort of seeing even said I better tell her next time I have a day like that. Doesn't really matter what that was, I suffer anxiety and I'm constantly suicidal so I guess it was worse than usual.

    She broke off our non-thing, saying she wasn't ready for a relationship. I'm not either, I haven't got over the one that ended disastrously 2 and a half years ago. I don't want that girl back but she was so cruel it did something to me including making any new relationship almost impossible.

    Anyway the current girl wanted to be friends, this is great, I'm desperate for friends here. But only texted me back if I texted her first and then only texted her back when I sent her a worried text about feeling shit or hurting myself. Today I decided she must want nothing to do with me so I said sorry and tried to end the friendship. She mistook this for a suicide note and said "Don't you fucking dare, go to hospital I'm calling you when I get home". I told her she misunderstood and because I have text tourettes especially when people don't reply have explained a few more times too. She never called, never replied, never anything.

    The next one (and its always girls who want to know) I'm not telling a thing. I'll tell her facts like I'm on this med and I dropped out last year cos... but no feelings, no wanting to die, nothing. Then she'll probably leave me because I'm too closed off. Can't win.

    LIOKRIS Active Member

    lol It looks like if she really cared about you she would called more often.
    I'm sorry to hear that u feel that way.
    Life is a bitch.
    And finding a true honest good friend who would be there when u really need it's almost impossible to find these days.
    If someone is not being good and doesn't care much about me I just try not to care too..otherwise I would become one big mess.
  3. weevil

    weevil Well-Known Member

    She was the one that wanted to be friends, I wasn't so sure but came around to the idea since I liked hanging out with her and didn't really have any others.

    She texted last night saying I was being ridiculous and paranoid, she hasn't texted cos she's busy with her friends... yet when she thinks I'm sending a suicide note she'll reply instantly from work.

    She also said that I'm not ready to cultivate friendships. What kind of bullshit is that? She knows how lonely and depressed you get alone, friends are what I need most of all right now. It's what I didn't bother creating last year at uni and probably didn't help me there. I told her I want friends to hang out with and actually have fun, not to be my counsellers and look after me. I've never wanted that but girlfriends in particular have always tried, and blamed me for putting too much on them.

    I don't talk about "stuff" with my housemate so it lets us go on stupid road trips to pick up bookshelves, buy 20p kettles at bootsales and play megadrive games on emulators. That's what I want from a friend. Even though we did have a bit of a text fight and he has given me CPR I think we're over that.

    I'm still gonna try with this girl, she's not being nasty to me like others have in the past I think she just misunderstands me and is afraid my condition will bring her down. She has her own issues, probably worse than mine, but represses them but constantly being around younger party friends. I'd like to be her sedate friend she can sit and watch films with, she has CFS so pushes herself too hard if she wants company she needs more relaxing company.

    Damn that potential psychologist in me. I'm gonna be a right pain in the arse when I eventually become one.
  4. Feel you pain on this one, my now ex binned me using the same bulls--t excuse. Someone who swore they would always be there... first time i need some support he was gone. Moral of this story... only person you can trust is yourself