You can't force someone into a relationship!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by A_pixie, Oct 26, 2008.

  1. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    You get on well with somebody, you trust them, you talk to them about your problems etc. But then an ulterior motive arises!

    There is nothing wrong with liking someone of course, but does it ever annoy anybody when people act differently around people they like? They don't swear when they do with their friends, they don't disagree (I hate it when people clearly disagree with me but lie about it!) it's a bit false in my opinion...

    If you did end up going out with them, it wouldn't be them! I mean how are you supposed to like someone if you don't know who they really are???

    People are saying I should date this person because he's "nice" to me but I truly believe people should just be themselves rather than fucking agreeing with you all the time, pretending to like all the stuff you do...it's not really them and in the long run you'll have nothing in common!

    You can't "nice" someone into a relationship.

    I have never in my life agreed with someone just because I fancy them! In fact I've been told several times by people that I'm the bluntest person they have ever met :S I've never pretended to like something I didn't just to trick them into thinking we have something in common...it weirds me out a bit.

    Am I wrong to be so bluntly honest with people I mean at least I don't try to agree with someone into bed that's wrong I think!

    Why do people always insist on trying to set you up with "Mr Nice Guy" 9/10 times they're simply being false give me Mr brutal honesty any day I'm not going to fucking break!!!!!!


    Grrr.
     
  2. HexenBexen

    HexenBexen Well-Known Member

    No, I don't think you're wrong for being bluntly honest with people. I know what you mean about people being nice and falsely agreeing with you. I've had that happen quite a bit. Once guy used to like me, did the whole nicey-nicey thing and one time I told him I didn't agree with something he said and you'd swear I'd just kicked his puppy or something! Honestly is always the best route to take. If someone can't handle it, they just not the type who can handle a strong, convicted person. I also believe though, dish out only what you can take.
     
  3. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    In my opinion your correct about this front people put on. Also you shouldn't change who you are and how you portray yourself. I'm guessing your at school or college. Most guys will be nice to you only cuz they want something out of you, which most of the time is your body.
     
  4. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Being yourself is only fair to everyone involved in every situation.
     
  5. Earn

    Earn Well-Known Member

    Pixie dont change yourself for anyone.If you change for someone I will come over there and give you a swift kick in the rear.Because it will only end bad in the long run.Maybe if people are thinking your too harsh change a couple of the words you would choose but not your meaning.but that can be annoying to have to censor yourself like that.so just be your Pixie self.

    But on the nice guy part.I kinda get why guys will watch there language or be extra nice when there around someone they fancy.I have done it.but not to the point im lying about myself.or agreeing with something i don't.its seen all through nature that male will be nicer/prettier.like peacocks,birds etc.Everyone tries to be a match maker specially women.You just need to find a genuine honest guy thats not false just like you.

    This kinda explains how someone can fall in love with there best friend.because they know there friend inside and out.but thats a whole nother can of worms in that situation.
     
  6. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    I don't think there's anything wrong with a nice guy. You're lucky you've even encountered one. But if it's not what you like, then there's no problem. Just don't date him.
     
  7. Tecky

    Tecky Well-Known Member

    I don't think there's anything wrong with a nice guy either. It could be that he's that nice to everyone, and not just girls he likes. Better to be with a nice one than a jerk, agreed?

    I agree with the heading, that you can't force someone into a relationship, but maybe agreeing with what you say isn't 'forcing' you into a relationship. I experienced love before. When I had a crush on this girl I met in San Francisco, she was the most important person in my sad little life then. I used to think a dozen little things were important, but that was before I met her. Suddenly, being around her was more important than arguing over some moot point in the Constitution. It was like whatever I was doing before I met her was just a 'filler' to pass the time until the main event (her).

    So there you go. When a guy is nice to you, it doesn't necessary mean he's trying to 'force' you into anything. The change in his attitude could be sincere. Having said that, I do agree that there are some guys (many in fact) out there who fake it. To them, being nice is not a goal in itself but rather a means to 'get into her pants'. I know people like that. But I also know others (such as myself) who sincerely changes for love.

    Remember, love is unconditional. So you shouldn't feel pressured into giving anything back in return for his 'niceness'. :)

    Teck
     
  8. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    What I mean is, if somebody is different around their friends when they don't know you're overhearing... they're putting up a front for you surely? It's not really them.

    I don't like jerks either, I prefer them but...wow at this rate I'm not going to like anybody lol. I suppose what I mean is why would you ruthlessly agree with someone just because you like them? You know the sort of person you couldn't get them to politely disagree with you if your life depended on it? It's the most infuriating thing in the world!

    I knew there was something suspicious about this person when he told me someone I like has a girlfriend when they don't :S

    I'm fed up with people trying to set me up with people like this who are completely false. I know it's a bad example, but Ted Bundy didn't exactly go around proclaiming he was a serial killer, apparently a lot of people got on well with him as he was mild mannered!

    Has anyone ever had the feeling of being "agreed with to death" ?
     
  9. And you're privy to this profound and singular well of knowledge HOW????!

    :blink:

    Pixie - when you can fart in bed with your partner (and it will take time...) and NOT toss the blankie over so's to choke them - or they refrain from doing the same to you - you'll know you got a good'un Sweetie! Unfortunately, it is a matter of trial and error. But Life's funny that way...

    Rent and watch Good Will Hunting
     
  10. CAD

    CAD Well-Known Member

    People behave differently around different people.
     
  11. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Is it possible that this person is being "extra nice" and "showing off" because he hopes that "extra nice" will be attractive to you? (He may not even realize he's doing it, if he is really interested you.)

    Or maybe it's because sometimes we behave differently with people when we first meet them - we start off on our "best behavior". Then we get to know a person and we relax more and the "real" person comes out

    Just possibilities. I dunno. :dunno:

    I do agree with you, though, I prefer honesty over the false front "nice".
     
  12. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    True CAD...I don't know I just feel agreed to with to death right now, I have an intense hatred of being lied to as well, with people pretending to think/like stuff they don't etc.

    Nice person as a friend, but the radar is going off if that makes sense.