You dont know...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by among the stars, Jul 18, 2011.

  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    I know if i dont reduce my stress level i will be back in the hospital with more problems. but i know there really isnt a way for me to do so, abby and her predicament is still hanging over my head, worry for the barn and my baby boy (horse), failed both my classes, have no one to turn to. This battle that is raging inside my head is tearing me apart, i have no motovation, no energy and no strength. my body is breaking down, my body hurts, my joints give me pain, my hair is turning gray and no matter what i do i cant lose weight. When my hair began falling out i was scared but after awhile i just didnt care anymore. whatever is happening will happen whether i fight it or not, so why bother. Ive lost my voice, my heart and my soul. I cant talk anymore, cant even help. Its hard enough for me to come on and just say hello. not getting much sleep, cranky during the day. i cant live like this much longer. Im already dead but i just dont know it yet. My heart died long ago but my body refused to give in til now.

    I wont say everything hurts, even tho it does. I wont say I wanna die even tho i do. Im alright for the sake of everyone else, always. It will never truly matter how i am because i am only one person, versus millions who can accept and reach out for help better than i can. Others who are much more deserving than I will ever be.

    But you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
    And you don't know what it's like to feel so low
    And every time you smile, you laugh, you glow
    You don't even know, know, know
    You don't even know
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hugs...I think you could use them. :hug: :hug: :hug:
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    hey broken sending you :hug::hug:
    I can hear how much pain you're in

    have you spoken to your doctor about your symptoms of hair loss and joint pain, depression and weight problems hun?
    have you ever had your thyroid levels checked? perhaps ask for them to check asap..

    can the docs also help with the anxiety and depression?

    you deserve help and support as much as anyone else in this world 'broken' so don't give up ok..
    keep reaching out and searching until you find the help you need and deserve..
    we're here for you anytime..