... I feel like I've had sort of an epiphany, because it has taken me all of this time to realise - depression doesn't have to be something you can 'get over'. It is a part of my personality, I have a clinical imbalance and that will be with me forever. As much as I hate it, it is a part of what makes me who I am, and I often think "if I wasn't depressed and if I had never gone through all of this shit, would I be as empathetic, as understanding and as loving as I am?". I'm not sure that I would. I think I'd actually be quite a selfish, shallow materialistic person & I would hate to be that way. So now I realise, depression is something we can live with, but not let it take over our lives - it's an illness like any other. Perseverance is an important word here. Keep pushing and striving to find that place where you can COPE. Last week I was so down, I couldn't even get out of bed. If I had a job, I would tell myself, "get out of bed, take a deep breath and go to work. Come home, centre yourself, find those things that makes you smile. A good movie, a bowl of ice cream, a bubble bath, total silence/seclusion/being away from people, a comfy blanket, a good long sleep, anti depressants, coming on SF & talking it out, writing down how I am feeling, going to a group therapy session etc. Whatever it is, do what you need to and find a few things which you can use or do each time you are feeling this way. For the rest of your life these are the things that you are going to depend on to keep you going. Build on the list as much as you can - whatever it takes to get you through. I have also found it is important to tell the people in your life how you are feeling, and always tell any new people whenever you feel like your relationship with them is developing. If you tell them, maybe they can find a way to understand, rather than having you disappear or change mood on them every now and again and keep them wondering why. Some 'normal' people deserve a little more credit than we all think, and if they really care about us - they will try to see where we are coming from during the bad times. I realised just the other day, with all of my complaining about my friends, I failed to realise I do indeed have someone in my life who has stuck by me throughout everything and has always promised to. And I really don't deserve him. I am going to keep doing this, as much as I can and hopefully one day I will find a way to deal with my depression and have some sort of a normal life. I hope this works for somebody else out there.