Anyone ever felt like they KNOW that your gonna do something serious weeks before you do it? Exactly how i feel right now. I know that next week or sometime during the week after i will do something serious. Either me ending up in a very bad way and no one knowing or me in hospital. I know its gonna happen. I know whats gonna happen with college, once thats happened its gonna be the lowest of the low for me. Then i know i WILL do something. I dont even know why im writing this, i couldnt talk about it earlier. I liturally couldnt get the words out to the person i was talking to. The strange thing is im calm about it now, deep down i know its gonna happen. Stangely im at peace with that. I doubt it will kill me, maybe serious enough for hospital. I just feel i have to harm myself some way because i feel i derserve it. Urgh i dunno anymore.