I guess people have get use to say 'you have a whole life to do things you want to do'. And, its true. But life sometimes is to short. It can end suddenly, not by your will, by exident or somehow. And it can also end if you want to end it. But who can suspect that someone wants to end his own life? No one! And its always hardest when its about your family. Sometimes, when they ask me, why you dont want to work anymore, I say: because i dont need money, I have enough for my whole life. But they cant really understand what i am saying. And i cant explain them, I dont want to explain them. A friend once told me: I dont know a person that doesnt want money. I told him: I am that person, i dont need money, because I dont have someone with me, who can spend what im earning. Another friend asked me: Why you act sometimes like you dont care anymore, like you are 60 years old, not 25. I said, maybe I feel like Im 60, but I dont want to talk about it. When Im telling someone that Ill probably not go to the surgery, they cant understand why. Why is it so hard to tell someone that you dont want your life? That you want to die? Why? Probably no one knows the answer, but it would be so much easier if everyone knows that I will end my life soon, at least easier for me, if they know, and dont try to do anything to stop me.