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you have hope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mortdesinos, Feb 22, 2008.

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  1. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    You have hope. You don't need to be here. You should be the number one person backing yourself. You're not? No surprise. If you were, you wouldn't be depressed and suicidal and cutting yourself up and thinking about how much the world supposedly hates you. It's your mental illness. And this site won't help. You need real support. You need to support yourself. Do that today. You will be fine. You will!
  2. nedflanders

    nedflanders Well-Known Member

    Ordinarily, I'd get irritated by this smiling-happy kinda guy, but when he points out

    he's absolutely right.
  3. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    then why are you here????
  4. wanttodie

    wanttodie Well-Known Member

    Why do you ask that ?
  5. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    i dont believe it was aimed at you....so...I'm waiting on the poster above me to answer.
  6. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    I don't think anyone likes to be told that their feelings are some kind of illness, it's like saying there's something wrong with them for feeling that way. Some people just have trouble coping with stress as well as others and some people have more stress to deal with than others, it's a bit insensitive to just tell them to shape up and be optimistic, don't you think?

    I'm not trying to bash you here as I can see what you wrote you wrote with good intention but if you really want to help someone it helps to try and empathize with them first, no one will take your opinion seriously if they believe you don't understand the situation. Many people have found friends and like-minded company to share their troubles with here, while it certainly won't solve the problem it helps a lot to feel heard. This site actually did help me, a poster's story here inspired me to begin making changes to my own life and my emotional state since has improved dramatically.

    I agree with almost all of what you're saying but the way you're saying it will probably rub some people the wrong way and poison the bottom line of your message before it gets a chance to reach where it's trying to go.
  7. almosteasy

    almosteasy Well-Known Member

    Your post has the underlying theme that states “get over it and get tough. You’re sick, go get help and stop whining to people online because that wont help"

    These tough love posts only discourage most of the people who are on this board who are looking for help. Although your intention was positive your method is flawed. For a lot of people on this forum just a simple "I care" from another member can help them go on another day.

    You've obviously never been severely depressed/suicidal because in that state "backing yourself" is like asking someone to fly.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 23, 2008
  8. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    I obviously have, and that's why I'm here.
  9. almosteasy

    almosteasy Well-Known Member

    There are different stages or levels to anything in this world. Diseases, experience at a certain task, physical prowess, physical disability etc. does not affect everyone in one stage but different stages with varying levels of intensity.

    A 3rd degree burn victim will have a much more devastating experience than a first degree burn victim. Although both victims were subjected to burns, a 1st degree victim has no idea of how much more a 3rd degree victim is suffering. You have never reached a stage in your depression that allows you to see that a lot of things you typed simply does not work for most people who have severe depression.
  10. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Ordinarily I would completely ignore a post like this, because they make me a little...angry, but..

    I have hope...do I really? You can tell me what I have and don't have? My, that's a shocker.

    Wait...you're telling me that because I have a chemical problem in my brain, genetic, by the way, that if I just support and love myself, so to speak, I'd be fine? And wow, I find the whole, "cutting yourself up and thinking about how much the world supposedly hates you." completely hypocritical of you.

    Are you a psychiatrist all of a sudden...Can you diagnose people with a mental illness? I find that the site can be helpful for venting frustrations and just being myself. And I'm not getting real support? The psychiatrist and counselor I'm seeing are just completely made up in my mind?

    Thanks for your little "ray of sunshine," but I find most of it to be hypocritical and kind of...insane.
  11. Sadly (and as well, frustratingly...) the likes such as this OP will always exist ...and you can never effectively nor often enough tell them to shut up or go away - they simply do not listen - entirely wrapped up in their own universe. Not all too different than a "Born Again" type - or ANYONE that believes and insists that there is indeed a One-Size-Fits-All solution! That mentality is precisely what keeps getting us into so much trouble in the first place...and "they" never fucking learn... :mad: (cause of course, they KNOW it all...)

    So, the bottom line is that no matter what your personal experience was or is, and no matter how much genuine thought and effort you put into a reply to such people (even going so far as to initially give them the benefit of the doubt, or that their intentions are well-meant - and/or yourself trying to remain open-minded - although they are NOT) - you are simply fartin' into the breeze...
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2008
  12. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni


    At the end of the day Joe (OOTP), as you say, if you didn't have depression etc, you wouldn't be here on SF.
    That said, you said people need to have 'real support'. How to define it? For many, SF is real support. Just because it isn't for you, it isn't right to try and sway others to your way of thinking - let others make up their own minds.
    Others often have tried to support themselves, and here is where they end up. If they think SF helps, then that is exactly what they're doing. I know when I came here, I was supporting myself, because it was helping me stay 'afloat' as it was.
    As you yourself know, depression makes us think we're useless etc - it is often impossible to 'back ourselves'.
    I could go on, but aren't going to.
  13. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    It depends what works best for someone. I think this is more of a support site than a help site, the two are different in my opinion. Whilst I'd far rather see people overcoming things and believing in themselves, the reality is that it can take time. And having a site like this can certainly help people to hold on when they're at their worst.
  14. nicesinging1

    nicesinging1 Well-Known Member

    I interpreted his statements differently. I think he is trying to tell us we are in charge of our lives and posting on SF and chatting in chatroom every single day won't cure our problems.
    I believe he is trying to tell us we have to be stronger and determined and not let depression hinder our journey. Just like people who became great despite being on wheelchair, being blind, being paralyzed, growing up in poverty and abuse, we can become a lawyer, news anchor, MD, phychiatrist, engineer, politician, and CEO despite our depression.
    That we can use our struggles with depression as our advantage by learning from it and becoming a better person.
  15. nedflanders

    nedflanders Well-Known Member

    Because I like to trigger myself, of course. Any more silly questions?
  16. Joshuwah

    Joshuwah Well-Known Member

    Because, after all, jess has you in a nut shell
  17. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Absolutely no need for the patronising comments.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 26, 2008
  18. nedflanders

    nedflanders Well-Known Member


    Then I suppose I'm just here for the charming company.
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