You idiots..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Ruby, Jan 6, 2007.

  1. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    This isn't a forum based around ''support''. Nobody cares about me on here; but guess what? The feelings mutual.
    It seems on this forum you only get replies if you're ''popular'' or ''cool''. It's seriously pathetic.
    If I had 1000 posts would people actually bother replying to my threads? Haha.
    Anyway, got to go before I say something I regret.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 6, 2007
  2. Porcelain

    Porcelain Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately I do know how you feel. It's an issue that I hav enoticed for a while now, as have many others that I have spoken to. I'm afraid it's just the way it is. I know that provides no support/help/comfort to you but please know that you aren't alone in your feelings.
  3. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    Thank you :)
  4. Sorrow

    Sorrow Well-Known Member

    Yes, it does often seem that way. Some people here do truly care about others though. I'm sorry that you feel this way. Maybe us unpopular, unliked people can support each other. I'm here if you want someone to talk to someone.
  5. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member


    I'm so glad that people AGREE. Yeah, us 'uncool' and 'unpopular' people can talk.
  6. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Sometimes people don't know what to say in a reply. You gotta remember that we all have our own problems. Especially this time of year is hard for people. Its nothing personal about how many post u have or if ur 'cool' or not
  7. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I guess that it's just coincidence that people know what to say in reply to topics started by ''popular'' people :mellow:
  8. LeaveMeAlone

    LeaveMeAlone Well-Known Member

    I think sometimes if you know someone, it's easier to give them some support, you might know what they need to hear, or just have a better idea from talking to them about what it is they're going through. You also aren't quite as woried that you might slip up and say something triggering.

    It can be very difficult sometimes, I know I wil often read a post and my heart will go out to that person but I just don't know what I can say, if I'm not feeling very good myself then anything I say is probably going to be detrimental, I guess if it's someone I know then I tend to feel a little safer and more confident in my response.

    Try logging into the chatroom occasionally, PM a site buddy, or generally just try to get to know some of them people on here, we are human beings after all, forge a few relationships and you'll soon build up your own support network.
  9. MrDepressed

    MrDepressed Guest

    I tend to only go into messages I feel confident that I can handle, most often that means old messages or ones that I have allready replied to.. If the title of the message scares me in the slightest I tend to stay away.. for some reason I can handle whatever anyone says in chat, but I do not feel the same way about posts.. I dont know why..
  10. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    i reply to topics and threads i can offer advice on. well did anyhow. names are important, but so are the issues. theres no point in me replying to someones thread where i cant offer some advice for them to bounce off of in a positive mannor.

    On another note, emotional pain is a deep feeling. for some its difficult to respond to people you do not know. if you know the person, u have some form of a connection thats started, making it easier to branch off and express yourself less as a txt guide and more as the person you are. emotional pain is part of us, so when you talk about it or try to offer advice, you are branching a part of us out to the person you are trying to reach. opening a very private door so to say. its easier when you know a person.

    when u dont know a person, sometimes basic factual advice is how it starts out. its not emotional or warming, its a anchor point to move towards so that person can find some grounding, and by offereing that advice, u have a point to start communicating with eachother in that buffer zone, on how it relates to you, adding you to that factual point.

    alot of us are really weak. its hard to be jump into an emotional voyage with someone you just don't know. sometimes you pour your heart out to someone and they ignore you, or respond in a mannor that burns you. its difficult to talk to people you dont know, easier to talk to people you do know. if you know them, you start to understand their preceptions and start to know what will harm them and what wont. there are many reasons for it, popularity? i dont think that applies here Ruby. we're people with problems, not people trying to dominate and submitt for the purpose of attention.

    not trying to be off, but dont put me into either of those catagories. im neither, im simply me. im here because i have issues im trying to get over, and i respond to people based on if i can help. im sorry you feel like no one cares about you Ruby. Simply put i care. i dont know you but i do know you have something you're going through, otherwise you wouldnt be here. i know its hard when you actually put that into words and put it into view of the world, especially to people you do not know, and end up getting no responces, no one to help you dish it out and try and let your mind work with it. sometimes people just dont know how to help in that moment. bump youre threads, keep posting, go into the chat and talk, pm the admins and try to talk to them. dont spiral off of no one replying. it aint worth it, to you or anyone else. what matters is why you came here. Why you are here.

    hope you feel better soon..

    can i ask what sparked these thoughts? better to talk about it then talk at it maybe.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 6, 2007
  11. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    I am sorry this happened to you now. It may not only be popular people; this is NOT like high school. People do not know what is necessary to say to the poster.
    They are afraid of causing more hurt :hiding: or being to blunt. It may be easier to read a post and not respond for some.
    I would love to write more, but do limit my time on the boards now.

    Also, it may be important to see how many new threads are up weekly. So into your control panel and change a setting to receive all new posts. It is WOAH!!! Seriously, I had that same problem and I screamed about it, in 2 days time. It is a hard thing to be used to on forum tech culture. I know what it feels like to be up at 3 am with a bad urge. Make some buddies here in time, and you will be more in tune.
    I wish you ease--PM me if you get there again. :arms:
  12. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Yep same here. Rarely answer a SH post because I can't offer anything constructive.
    Always easier to reply to someone who I know even if its only slightly and some topics are just no go areas.
  13. Porcelain

    Porcelain Well-Known Member

    well, what about trying to get to know new people?
  14. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    you don´t need to be popular or cool here, you can do what i started doing i just added a question at the end of each tread, that way people will answer your question and will know how to start answering the thread...
  15. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I can understand how you feel...but given the number of people on SF, your bound to single out just a few people for support, and stick to those happens in the wider world all the time. I guess its also natural you become so familiar with there personal situations, you find it easier to reply to there threads.

    On a personal note, Ive maybe talked to 15 differant people on this, thats in chat and msn.
  16. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I was thinking the same thing myself :dry:

    Blake, I just felt like nobody cared. I apologise for saying 'the feelings mutual'. I shouldn't have said that..

    I understand both points of view. But as 'regular posters' shouldn't you make more of an effort to speak to new people? It can feel quite intimidating for new members to go into chat etc.

    Also, I'm sorry if I sound harsh or out of order. I know that it's no excuse, but I was feeling quite down and paranoid at the time. I felt like nobody was bothered. I guess I forgot that none of you actually know me. Ha :mellow:
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2007
  17. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    Hi Ruby,

    Thank you for bringing this issue up.. It must have taken courage to post this thread and it seems you're not the only one feeling this way, so it's good to have brought it to the forum's attention. I know that it has been said in the past that there is a "clique" on SF..

    I'm sorry you felt/feel this way though. Personally I do a mixture of both, i.e. i do look out for people who I know and try to reply to their posts, but I do also look out for posts which have few replies. It's not always easy.. and I am in contact with new members via PM sometimes too.

    I hope this post has helped you in some way and I hope things improve for you, and others, as a result.

    Jenny x
  18. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i did try to talk to you and i told you that you can pm me at anytime remember?i won´t pm you if you don´t talk to me anymore, but i think that i tryed to know you and you didn´t pm me back, so what should i think, as you said "i don´t know you", and i thought that you may be didn´t want to talk to me anymore, that´s why i don´t pm you. and about the replyes, people may be feel that can hurt you more if they say something, and may be that´s the reason of the few replyes.
    may be "we" the "regular posters" know each other a little bit more than i know you, and we know what to say each other to make him/her feel better. i had this same problem at the beggining, and i didn´t post threads complainig for it, i started talking to some people, and now i don´t have this problem anymore.but you must wait until you know a little bit at the people here, find someone who feels like you, and talk.

    i´m sorry if i said something that other sayed, i didn´t read all the replyes. Take care ruby;)
  19. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I actually like you, Jane_doe. I thought that I replied? Sorry.

    Also, thank you all for being so supportive, understanding and respecting my opinion. I was quite angry when I made this thread. I'm sorry.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 10, 2007
  20. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Theres no need to apologise for being angry... its a normal and healthy emotion.