You know that feeling...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kilyke, Feb 21, 2009.

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  1. Kilyke

    Kilyke New Member

    where if you don't tell someone how you're feeling.... you feel like you might explode? (or attempt suicide, whatever, same difference)
    ...but if you told someone, you know that they would probably stop you, and that knowledge keeps you telling them?

    Not because you want to die... but because wanting to tell someone means you can't *really* be feeling the way you think you're feeling. Wanting to tell someone means you're not really suicidal.

    Yeah, I know. It's pretty f^ck3d up. But I feel that way all the time. I don't know, maybe I just want attention.

    I've been hospitalized twice. I've been on and off medication, but never on it for very long. That has helped. I've gotten no benefits from therapy, or maybe haven't given it a fair chance. I've recently moved out of my parents house to a city where the nearest Kaiser (that's my insurance) is an hour's drive away.

    I don't know what to do. I feel like committing suicide but I know I won't... unless I will. The debate is driving me mad.
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi. glad you are here. i DO know that feeling, most of us do here. . . if not all. it is a POSITIVE step - to reach out. .. that shows that there is a very strong courageous part of you that does want to stay.

    my pm box is open to you - and many others will be here, as well. i care what happens to you, and i want you to hang on. we can all stick together - - ok? :arms:
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Kilyke,
    You said that you were on meds but not very long. How long were you on them? Was it just an AD? Therapy is a big part of the healing process. It took me two years before I opened completely up with my therapist. Now on year three I can see the progress we have made. I really think you should get back on meds and get back into therapy..Maybe that therapist wasn't much help so seek out another.. The one I see now came along after seeing three before her. Now I totally respect the advice and support she gives..She always makes me smile before I leave..That is no easy task because I never smile. Please seek the help it is there you just need to reach out and grab ahold!!!
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