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you know what??

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M

me_

#1
#1
Saying that I care, sending hugs, saying that I am sorry for what happened is appearently RIDICULOUS, it was said TOO many times to mean anything.:rolleyes:
Well I give up. Some people really mean it you know, but I quess it doesn't matter.
I don't know what some people expect. This is not a place if you are seeking professional help. Noone can tell you the exact solution for your problem here. EVERYONE has problems here too. SUPPORT is offered all the time, yes, all the time, and some people just DON'T appreciate it.
Do I have to excuse myself for sending a hug?? For caring enough to answer your post?
I JUST GIVE UP!!!!!
 
D

*dilligaf*

Staff Alumni
#2
#2
are you ok??
hun it's nice of you to take the time to answer people's posts and try to help. if people dont see that dont let it get to you
:hug:
 
H

Hazel

SF & Antiquitie's Friend
Staff Alumni
#3
#3
Me, we all do the best we can here, as you say
EVERYONE has problems here too.
Click to expand...
Try not to get downhearted because some people fail to appreciate your efforts. Try to remember those people your words have helped.. you DO care, dont give up, u DO make a difference.

:hug: Hazel x
 
M

me_

#4
#4
This is not just about me.
I was speaking in first person but I ment it generally.
This is about all the people on the forum who try to help others. There are people who spend many hours in here and try hard to help everyone.
I am not doing too much. But yes, I am trying too. Like lots of other people here. Some contribute more, some less. But most people in here are trying to offer their support. AND IT SHOULD BE APPRECIATED, not being revolted against.
And there seems to be more and more people here complaining about the help they got. And at first it made me sad. Now it makes me angry.
People don't realize that in here help is offered by people in some kind of a crisis themselfes. And even if they were not in crisis, they are not professionals. If there were professionals giving advice in here, this site wouldn't be free. This is a free site. If people help here is because they WANT to help, because they CARE about other people. Also, they need support too.

I don't know, I DO care, but whenever I read complains of that type it either makes me sad and insecure or angry like right now.
 
M

me_

#5
#5
downinthedumps said:
are you ok??
hun it's nice of you to take the time to answer people's posts and try to help. if people dont see that dont let it get to you
:hug:
Click to expand...
I am ok, don't worry, I am just angry...
Thanks for the concern! :hug:
 
S

SteakAndChips

#6
#6
Hey - people do appreciate you here. And you are right - people help because they care. Just know that there are people here who respect any help that you may offer :hug:

Love

GE
x
 
B

**BeautyIsThin**

#7
#7
*You can send hugs on any thread I post Me anytime * I love them * And I apreciate any replies I get as long as they're not too mean *
 
H

Hazel

SF & Antiquitie's Friend
Staff Alumni
#8
#8
Me, I understand exactly what you are saying, I guess SF is just a small picture of the general type of society we live in today... a society where people have great expectations of others and where if these expectations are not met they believe they have the right to complain.
Here, we give freely of our time and energy, often when we don't feel able, just so we can help others.
Of couse we also receive help and support for ourselves too.
We do our best, it is unfortunate that we are unable to help everyone but we do try....
 
S

Sadeyes

Staff Alumni
#9
#9
Hi Me...I have resolved the issue you brought up by focusing on how I feel giving...this allows me to not need to be affirmed by the person I am giving to...if someone does appreciate what I have written, it is a gift...hope this is helpful and that it can abate some of your anger...BIG HUGS (and you can also send them to me anytime you want) Jackie
 
U

umkulu

Member
#10
#10
Any advice and help given to me by anyone is apprectiated more then you will ever know. As for hugs I could stand a few more so if you have any spare send them my way
 
M

me_

#11
#11
Hi everyone, I am sorry I bursted out yesterday.
My anger is gone by now. :smile:
GE, BeautyIsThin, Hazel, Jackie, umkulu, downinthedumps :grouphug:

Thanks everyone for the replies and the hugs!
Hugs back to all of you!!!
:hug: :hug: :hug:
And those of you who said that my hugs are welcomed ... watch out because I kept it in mind :tongue:

And umkulu, I never welcomed you to the forum, so here's a special hug to you as a welcome :arms: If you ever need some more just ask! :wink:

Jackie, thanks so much for the advice! I quess it will take some time, but hopefully I will manage not to let these kindof things get to me anymore.

Hazel :hug:
You understood perfectly how I felt. Thanks for your support!
 
B

BlackPegasus

Well-Known Member
#12
#12
The truth is if you spend time volunteering and/or running different organizations you begin to see that it isn't the people you help you need the appreciation from but the people who run the place and work with you. That is one of the first things to learn when you run any volunteer group.

I'm not saying this because Robin hasn't appreciated anything. i'm saying this because helping the people should be enough for any volunteer.

Of the several organizations I've worked with only two people I had tried to help ever bothered to thank me. But the people who ran the places or I worked with they did all sorts of kind little acts for me mostly becasue they knew how is was to have to deal with that.

You deal with abused animals or people regularly. Well the longer you do it the more it can get to you and you need to know when you need to take a break and when you are alright. I've gotten really good at telling when those times come and the people I've worked with have made it wonderful.

However if I hurt someone it's up to me to make it right. You have to listen to people. When they are upset and trying to tell you something you did hurt them you have no right to get mad at them. I've seen that before and those people never lasted long. When you are helping someone at that moment it is about them and the worst thing you can do is turn it into being about you. Your time comes when it is about you. and that in itself is hard. When you start having trouble doing that is when you need a break.

And also being able to take criticism and realize that any position of authority is gonna cause trust issues and resentment especially if you make a mistake. It calls for serious diplomacy. It calls for answering questions. And you can count on the fact your behavior will be watched far closer than others.

And time for me to hit you with this. Don't play favorites on who you help or it will be noticed. I don't look at the name when I first read something. Respond to the post not the person. This way everyone gets treated the same.

Mia
 
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B

BlackPegasus

Well-Known Member
#13
#13
Before anyone gets mad at me please read what I said carefully. I haven't said anything bad about anyone or accused anyone of anything so please don't make assumptions. I'm merely sharing what I've learned about situations like this. A lot of people skim my post and only see certain parts so hopefully if you are not clear on something you will PM me to verify it first.

Mia
 
gentlelady

gentlelady

Staff Alumni
#14
#14
I understand exactly how you feel me_. Many hours are volunteered here and sometimes it seems like it is not appreciated at all. No matter how hard you try, it is never enough. But those are only the ones complaining about things. The ones who are appreciative just do not have as loud a voice, but they are out there. They do care and they are thankful for the replies and hugs and anything else we give them. We do make a positive difference here. Hold on to the thought of all those people to get you through and try not to let the rest upset you. :hug:
 
Marshmallow

Marshmallow

Staff Alumni
#15
#15
gentlelady said:
I understand exactly how you feel me_. Many hours are volunteered here and sometimes it seems like it is not appreciated at all. No matter how hard you try, it is never enough. But those are only the ones complaining about things. The ones who are appreciative just do not have as loud a voice, but they are out there. They do care and they are thankful for the replies and hugs and anything else we give them. We do make a positive difference here. Hold on to the thought of all those people to get you through and try not to let the rest upset you. :hug:
Click to expand...
Id like to say that im one who does appreciate the people who volunteer here, id love to volunteer and do what you do, to me its like helping people in a whole differnt way, and i think what you and the rest of the mods, site helpers, and admin do is a fantastic and un-selfish thing and it is appreciated very much by me, hopefully i can help people in such a positive and inspiring way that all of you have done here
 
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M

me_

#16
#16
Gentlelady, you are so right. I got upset by the complains of a few people, and I think I might have overgeneralized things a bit.:unsure:
Btw my anger is all gone by now. :hug:

Mia! :arms:
Thanks for sharing what you learned through your experiences. :hug:
It's always nice to hear your thoughts.
You made some really good points there ... for example where you said that people shouldn't reply to persons but to posts ... I do have the habbit of reading certain member's posts first ... giving them priority. :shy:

Big hugs to anyone who wants them :biggrin: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:grouphug:
 
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