You Need Help

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by pit, Jan 2, 2013.

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  1. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    When I was a young boy
    I loved all my toys
    Got GI Joe, the Blob
    Action Jackson makin the noise

    Then I went to school
    And after a while, my teachers
    Saw me as a fool
    I'd fidget, skip my assignments, and I'd whelp
    And they said
    You need help

    Saw the school psychologist
    She gave me tests that made me guess
    The Rorschach, the Blitzer
    The Word game and Charades n shit
    She pronounced me sane and I went back to class

    Hung out with some friends
    But I couldn't keep up with them
    Had trouble sticking up for myself
    so they bashed me down again and again
    And I wasn't as cool as them
    They said you're lower than phlegm
    They said you're not strong enough, you need help

    So I saw another psychologist
    Who gave me advice to put on my list
    He said believe in yourself, be outgoing
    I said my self is not worthy to be, I'm longing
    to be rid of it. He said drop the shit and get on with it.

    So back to class I went. Eventually I graduated
    high school and went on to college. Again, I
    had difficulty concentrating on my assignments and guess what
    they said? You need help.

    Saw the school psychologist
    Again, I was put on the mental health list
    She said you need to get organized
    Which wasn't really a big surprise
    Then she said have you heard of self love
    and I said what
    It's something you have to do, she said, but I said
    So what.

    So by hook and crook I graduated college
    Then I met a girl, we dated and things got beyond frottage
    But I had sexual problems, I couldn't keep it together
    Easily distracted, I got off on every girl's tight sweater
    So she said We need to talk and said You need help

    So I saw the sexual therapist
    She said don't be shy, please show me it
    She wanted me to keep a record of how often I mastrubated
    fornicated and sometimes truncated
    I said that's none of your business
    She said if you don't open up how can I treat it.
    I insisted on keeping to myself
    And she said that's the reason you need help

    So I decided to see a prostitute
    Which turned out to be simpler, I just
    Had to have loot.
    But she had a hard time getting me off
    I had to scoff
    She said, what's wrong hon, do you need help?
    I said I already got help, here, let me finish myself

    So I got a high paying job one day
    And as the weeks went on, I did my job better
    day after day.
    I joked with my coworkers, they seemed to like me
    Till a supervisor didn't like what I joked about
    And threatened to fire me

    That set me off, I got on edge
    I kept to myself, pushed my coworkers to the fringe
    Was short with my supervisor, my customers too
    Every night I'd go home, I'd sob a little boo hoo.
    Then one day my boss called me into his office
    He said your production is low, and you give your supervisor short fits
    To stay in this company it is universally felt
    That you need a little push, In short, you need help

    So I saw the company counselor
    He said you need to be a team player
    He criticized my speech, my paperwork and clothes
    Then looked me over from my head to my toes
    and said Get a new suit at Today's Man.
    Read How To Succeed and succeed as much as you can
    And if there's a goal you can't reach, just yell
    That you're here to learn and that you need help

    But I was under pressure, I had a backlog of travelogues
    The boss and his underlings were making me very odd
    So I walked off the job, but before I went
    I threatened the supervisor to put a dent in his head
    And the boss I punched in his fat, pimply nose
    He spewed blood on the walls and the paperwork, yo
    And he said why'd you do that and I said with a yelp
    I'm fine, now its you that definitely needs help.

    (I apologize for the lousy phraseology, the skewed meter and rhyme, the crime of uninspired verbology. It's just that I was passionate about poetry years ago, and that passion has since left me. But this is something that I just had to express.)
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 2, 2013
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu expressed it very well hun good for you
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