You think english is easy

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by ~PinkElephants~, Apr 16, 2007.

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  1. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    So You Think English is Easy...

    Can you read these right the first time?

    1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

    2) The farm was used to produce produce.

    3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse .

    4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

    5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

    6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

    7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

    8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

    9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

    10) I did not object to the object.

    11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

    12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

    13) They were too close to the door to close it.

    14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

    15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

    16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

    17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

    18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

    19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

    20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

    Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg
    in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
    pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig

    And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

    How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

    English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
  2. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    Inflammable means flammable. What a country!
  3. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    lol Kanani!!!! Thanks so much for posting!!!

  4. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Thanks for posting and beleive it or not, I read them all right the first time, had to pause a little bit, be a bit careful. :biggrin:
  5. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    My dad's a former college English professor and we used to have such fun with the english language. How come words like 'sanction' 'moot' and 'cleave' have two meanings, both completely opposite? What a treat, this post!:biggrin: Thank you so much!!

    least, born an english major but still haven't mastered it!:wink:
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I have read that, or something very similar to it, before. I enjoyed it as much this time as I did then. Thanks for sharing. :hug:
  7. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    thanks for that Kelly :smile:
  8. Edicius si Evol

    Edicius si Evol Well-Known Member

    Because it is a German word and the hamburger originates where I come from.

    We have those expressions in German too.

    Believe me, there are many languages just as illogical as english is :wink:
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