sad. depressed. sexually abused. used. fuck up on drugs. kill the pain. I have no one and nothing. no one to tell how I feel. I hate everything. not a single thing brings me joy. I hate life. you can call me farz. do you know how it feels to be me? does everyone think like i do? why does the medication not work? seroquel 300mg a day. cipralex 20 mg a day. nothing helps. no that's not true. drugs. no i felt the same before the drugs. but the drugs bring me some joy. i will sell my possessions. i play guitar. I will sell them all. I will spend the money on a drug frenzy and die. relief. relief. relief. just the thought that I don't have to continue on brings so much joy to me i get goosebumbs. the end. peace. finally. no i'm not looking for people to feel sorry for me and i'm not asking for an intervention. i just had to say what i had to say before a die. in a couple weeks. just have to do a couple things first.