you think you know suicidal?

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#1
sad. depressed. sexually abused. used. fuck up on drugs. kill the pain. I have no one and nothing. no one to tell how I feel. I hate everything. not a single thing brings me joy. I hate life. you can call me farz. do you know how it feels to be me? does everyone think like i do? why does the medication not work? seroquel 300mg a day. cipralex 20 mg a day. nothing helps. no that's not true. drugs. no i felt the same before the drugs. but the drugs bring me some joy. i will sell my possessions. i play guitar. I will sell them all. I will spend the money on a drug frenzy and die. relief. relief. relief. just the thought that I don't have to continue on brings so much joy to me i get goosebumbs. the end. peace. finally.

no i'm not looking for people to feel sorry for me and i'm not asking for an intervention. i just had to say what i had to say before a die. in a couple weeks. just have to do a couple things first.
 
B

BeenThere

#3
I think its more venting thats happening right no than anything :) but a good question to think about when all is sadi and done.
 

TG123

Well-Known Member
#4
sad. depressed. sexually abused. used. fuck up on drugs. kill the pain. I have no one and nothing. no one to tell how I feel. I hate everything. not a single thing brings me joy. I hate life. you can call me farz. do you know how it feels to be me? does everyone think like i do? why does the medication not work? seroquel 300mg a day. cipralex 20 mg a day. nothing helps. no that's not true. drugs. no i felt the same before the drugs. but the drugs bring me some joy. i will sell my possessions. i play guitar. I will sell them all. I will spend the money on a drug frenzy and die. relief. relief. relief. just the thought that I don't have to continue on brings so much joy to me i get goosebumbs. the end. peace. finally.

no i'm not looking for people to feel sorry for me and i'm not asking for an intervention. i just had to say what i had to say before a die. in a couple weeks. just have to do a couple things first.
Hey Wannadie,

Thanks for being so open and honest with us. I'm sad to hear about the pain that you are going through. Sometimes it feels like living is not worth it and that taking one's life is the only way out, I've been there too.
But things will get better. There are many people here who care about you, including myself. I also believe that God loves you and cares about you.
I hope we can talk, my email is [email protected] Anytime you want to email me I'll be there to listen.

Take care and I'll keep you in my prayers and if you want to talk I'm there.

Cristo Vive!
- Tomasz
 

KMS

Well-Known Member
#5
i hope you havent given up. if you have then your in the same boat i am in. i gave up a few months ago. now im burning bridges and severing connections with the people in my life. its not fun nor is it easy, but it beats the pain i deal with everyday
 
B

bombeni

#6
I know how you feel, I recently had decided I was going to kill myself too then somehow I stumbled across this website. And nobody was telling me "aww cheer up you don't have it so bad" or "you create your own problems" or the famous "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" -- people here actually listened to me. And no one judged me. And I realized many others have the same feelings I do. They don't exactly call me Miss Sunshine yet but hey I didn't kill myself yet either. I hope you can continue to open up a little bit and let us know how you're feeling.
 

ace

Well-Known Member
#7
sad. depressed. sexually abused. used. fuck up on drugs. kill the pain. I have no one and nothing. no one to tell how I feel. I hate everything. not a single thing brings me joy. I hate life. you can call me farz. do you know how it feels to be me? does everyone think like i do? why does the medication not work? seroquel 300mg a day. cipralex 20 mg a day. nothing helps. no that's not true. drugs. no i felt the same before the drugs. but the drugs bring me some joy. i will sell my possessions. i play guitar. I will sell them all. I will spend the money on a drug frenzy and die. relief. relief. relief. just the thought that I don't have to continue on brings so much joy to me i get goosebumbs. the end. peace. finally.

no i'm not looking for people to feel sorry for me and i'm not asking for an intervention. i just had to say what i had to say before a die. in a couple weeks. just have to do a couple things first.

I'm really sorry for the way you're feeling:sad: ,I know you aren't looking for attention instead it's the mere fact that you're hurting so much and so many people have also let you down.Although I don't know exactly what it's like being sexually abused I do know what it's like feeling so depressed to the point of wanting to end it all so often I couldn't remember.
If you would like to talk some more I surely hope so,I do understand how much you're hurting and although this may not mean much you do have all of us and we sincerely care about each other and "YOU" included I mean that I'm not just saying that to try and make you feel better in some sought lying capacity but I'm honestly meaning this.
 
#9
Finding something worthwhile to focus on and carry out your life is a hard thing to do, always thinking there is no hope is common, too common in this day and age. Loosing sight on the important things makes us feel worse. Always thinking there is no one around that understands how you feel deepens the problem, only been visiting this site a few times but cannot stress the importance of it enough. Thank fully i dont suffer with this, but due to my proffession i encounter it everyday, and i always recomend this site to people in the same situation. Use this site and these amazing people as an ear that will listen. Just being given the time to explain how you feel without people thinking your mad or panicing can do a lot of good, these people offer their ears and their shoulders, use them i really think it may help. cos then maybe you may just realise you aint alone as you think.

Steve
 
#10
There are many people at this forum that feel just as you do or have felt that way in the not so distant past. I am glad you had the courage to say what you felt, how you feelt or feel. There are no cut and dry answers to relieve the pain we suffer from. It takes courage to continue on everday and keep fighting for life, even when we feel we really don't want to. Please don't give up completely. Talk with people who have been there. Yes there are still bad times, but there can be good ones as well. I sincerely hope you are able to find someone to talk this through with, before any final decisions are made. :hug:
 
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