You would all be better off if I could just commit.. Honest I think thats why everyone is backstabbing me this way.. they know Im at my limit.. I can't take this anyone.. Everyone trying to turn things against me.. my parents, online, the hospital, friends I try and set things up with ditching me.. I get the hint ok? :'( I fucking get the hint.. I'm a peice of shit who doesn't belong in this world.. I try helping people who was homeless when I had a place only for them to give me death threats.. I seen things out where I used to live and never reported to police and Im sure if they havent caught the guy and he saw me he want me dead.. My best friend has a hit out on her from a local gang and Im sure they want me dead if they know Im associated to her.. Parents suposedly want my brother to socialize with me then tell him not to play a certain game with me the next day.. and then the games ok again a week or so later.. Trying to tell my best friend all this crap like how I use too much water and how she made me more gay.. Telling me how I'm basically making myself anxious because of me DECIDING to be transgender and how people stare at me in public because of it. because of my "lifestyle".. The hospital I not been to in forever but the only times before they tell me they can't help me.. have laughed behind my back.. told me to stop acting like a child.. and Im sure they want me dead on their table. Online groups blaming me for things I didn't do.. On both ends.. simply maybe for association to each other.. But I didn't do anything.. Setting up meetings to hang out with people and then them canceling on me.. maybe because they know Im a peice of shit.. who can't shut up and causes a lot of problems.. I know Im easy prey.. I wish I could just die and make you all happy.. or if not happy see how much pain you are all causing me.. But if you actually knew me you would know I don't abandon people who do need me.. which is why I can't commit at this time.. I don't abandon my best friend.. because she would be on streets with no money at all because I pay for everything.. But I did tell her one day I would commit.. and that I plan to do.. someday when Im not needed to stabalize anyone.. but even my dreams have told me that everyone will hate me.. and I should stand alone.. I want to die and show all my pains.. I want it to be slow and struggling.. I want to symbolize all the pain and torture you have put me through.. and put it to an end as I will one day..