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You win, universe. I give up.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by skyisburning, Nov 6, 2010.

  1. skyisburning

    skyisburning Well-Known Member

    I have had a succession of shitty things happen to me this past semester, and I suppose in the grand scheme of things they aren't "huge" on the depression scale, but they have left me so downtrodden that I just...I don't know what to fucking do anymore....

    I hate college because it takes up so much of my life that I have lost most of my evenings (to play rehearsal) and all of my weekdays (to classes), not to mention I have had to miss numerous things outside of school that I REALLY wanted to go to (including events with friends that were VERY important to me, and have caused me to lose some friends due to this)... And as much as I want to take next semester off, I'm: 1)afraid I'll regret it as soon as school starts back because I will have made a mistake and miss it or something, 2)afraid I'll lose my scholarship--which, actually, I'm fucking angry that I have in the first place because otherwise, I'd be able to take a break from school without this worry, and 3)if I want to keep my major the same as it is now [theatre], then one of the required courses--theatre history II--that is offered this coming spring, it won't be offered again until spring of 2013, meaning if I don't take it next semester, I'll have to wait an extra year to graduate (just waiting for that one course to roll around, unless I just change my major).

    I'm stressed out, miserable, lonely, neurotic, depressed, lonely, confused, frustrated, angry, lonely, and just....at my wit's end....

    So with that, I say...you win universe. I fucking give up. I won't die, don't worry...I'm not suicidal at the moment...but obviously I'm doing something wrong and not to your liking, so I guess I just need to sit the fuck back and be miserable, so you can allow fate to work her black magic on me.
  2. generation

    generation New Member

    I'm not sure I can help you, but I had a full scholarship to a public school (pretty decent, not Ivy League or anything) and got sidetracked with an addiction. Everything went out the window pretty much. Trust me when I say this: stay in school, as long as you enjoy it every now and then. If you hate it with every fiber of your being, obviously take a year off. Otherwise, count your lucky stars that you have a scholarship as many people don't.

    Good luck! :cazza: